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Some sort of virus, presumably. I'm fairly sure that's why I wanted to recover his body; it certainly wasn't through respect or the goodness of my heart.

That's... Well, I'm not surprised by that. Still, to become something like this...

[It's super gross? Yikes. Here you go, you can have your drawing back.]

[He'll take it back, closing the journal and setting it aside for now.]

...I suspect that most of us with that sort of ability die like that.

[You know, hideously mutated and nowhere near human anymore.]

...I see.

[He has to wonder if Wesker mutated into something that grotesque before his death...]

Does that idea bother you any?

...Yes.

[It's hesitant, slightly, but it's honest.]

From what I understand, it's a voluntary choice; something we do as a last-ditch effort, perhaps, because we have nothing to lose. Or perhaps because we simply like the power - that seems to be the case for some that I've seen. So it's not anything that we're forced into.

At the same time, it...bothers me, yes.

[Jaeger nods at that.]

I can certainly see where it would. The idea bothers me too, honestly! I can't really say I understand doing it for power, but I suppose I've never experienced anything like that before. It sort of frightens me a bit, actually.

[It's good that Wesker's bothered by it, though. He'd be a bit worried if Wesker wasn't.]

Theoretically, it should be something that I can do now. Since the virus is active.

[He's shaking his head a bit as he says it, though; it's obvious that the idea makes him nervous, it's audible in his words.]

I won't. Even back then, I suspect I didn't want to; it's...

[He trails off, though; shakes his head again.]

[Jaeger doesn't hesitate, he holds out a hand for Wesker. As much as he wants to hug on him, he's not going to spring that on Wesker now.]

I know you won't. It's a bit terrifying, ja?

Yes.

[He'll accept Jaeger's hand with minimal hesitation this time; he appreciates the gesture, anyway, even if anything more during this particular discussion would bother him too badly and he knows it.]

...I'll be fine. It's simply something that I didn't realize was bothering me, that's all.

That's okay, sometimes these things happen! I think it's good that you're aware of it.

[He squeezes Wesker's hand at that.]

I'll always be here if you ever want to talk about it.

I know you will. And the same is true for me as well, of course.

[...]

I know I've been distant lately, but I do want to be here for you.

[That gets his grip on Wesker's hand to tighten; he doesn't want to let go.]

I've noticed. I hoped things would settle back into normalcy now that we're back home.

[...]

Is something wrong? Are you okay?

[...Oh, that's...]

I'm fine. The information we found toward the end of the expedition troubled me somewhat, admittedly. But it's nothing that I won't be able to manage; it's just given me something to think about.

[It was entirely too close to Spencer.]

Otherwise, it's just been a matter of adjusting to everything, I suppose.

If you want to discuss it, I'll listen.

[But this might be something Wesker needs to work through on his own, so he won't press.]

I understand. We certainly did spend a long time away from home! I'm glad to be back.

Likewise.

[Like. God, it's nice to be back.]

As for the information...it struck me as being too close to the old man's way of doing things. And my own, I suppose, back then. There was so much emphasis on who deserved to be saved and who didn't, it was unsettling.

You're right, there was a lot of emphasis on that. I certainly don't blame you for finding it unsettling. I'm sorry that it had to hit so close to home on a point like that.

...It's still something I'm working on.

[He's. Trying? He doesn't know.]

I know. And I'll be here if you need me.

[He squeezes Wesker's hand again, as if to reassure him of that.]

[...]

What about you...? Have you been all right lately?

[It's something of a graceless topic change, but it isn't as though they've had a lot of time to talk lately.]

I've been...

[His free hand hovers over the blastia for a moment and Jaeger forces it back down. There's no sense in lying.]

...Well, I've been better. Any problems I've had I've been able to ignore because of our work. But that's not really a good way of handling anything, ja?

[...Oh.]

...I understand, I think. It's how I've been handling things as well, for the past month or so.

[It's why he jumped at the opportunity to go so shortly after he'd died.]

Talk to me...?

[Yeah. He understands entirely...]

Well, I don't really know where to begin. There have been two things bothering me lately, I suppose. The blastia is always on my mind and sometimes it's hard to focus on other things. But that's not the one I'm really concerned about. It's going to take me a long time to truly get used to the blastia, I know that.

[...]

I'm more worried about... Well, about your death. I... haven't really thought about it much, honestly. I try not to think about it at all. It... it really scares me.

[He lets his grip tighten on Jaeger's hand; after a moment he shifts a bit, letting his free hand run through Jaeger's hair lightly. The motion is awkward and hesitant, but at least it's an attempt.]

What about it is scaring you so badly...?

[The question is gentle; he suspects he has an idea, but he wants to hear it from Jaeger before making any assumptions about it.]

[He'll lean into that immediately, and some of the tension leaves him.]

It just... it happened so suddenly. There wasn't any warning whatsoever and if this had happened earlier... well, you wouldn't have been able to come back. I know that's a silly thing to be stuck on when it didn't happen, but...

[But he's stuck on it anyway.]

[He just keeps playing with Jaeger's hair, softly; he'll let him talk, and take a moment to gather his own thoughts afterwards.]

It feels like it can happen easily, doesn't it.

[His words are quiet; it's not precisely a question, but not a blunt statement, either - something hovering somewhere inbetween.]

Even if you know it didn't happen, and that it's very difficult for anything like that to happen now - you can't know for sure that something sudden like that won't happen again. Something like that?

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