manufactured | INBOX

Likewise.

[Like. God, it's nice to be back.]

As for the information...it struck me as being too close to the old man's way of doing things. And my own, I suppose, back then. There was so much emphasis on who deserved to be saved and who didn't, it was unsettling.

You're right, there was a lot of emphasis on that. I certainly don't blame you for finding it unsettling. I'm sorry that it had to hit so close to home on a point like that.

...It's still something I'm working on.

[He's. Trying? He doesn't know.]

I know. And I'll be here if you need me.

[He squeezes Wesker's hand again, as if to reassure him of that.]

[...]

What about you...? Have you been all right lately?

[It's something of a graceless topic change, but it isn't as though they've had a lot of time to talk lately.]

I've been...

[His free hand hovers over the blastia for a moment and Jaeger forces it back down. There's no sense in lying.]

...Well, I've been better. Any problems I've had I've been able to ignore because of our work. But that's not really a good way of handling anything, ja?

[...Oh.]

...I understand, I think. It's how I've been handling things as well, for the past month or so.

[It's why he jumped at the opportunity to go so shortly after he'd died.]

Talk to me...?

[Yeah. He understands entirely...]

Well, I don't really know where to begin. There have been two things bothering me lately, I suppose. The blastia is always on my mind and sometimes it's hard to focus on other things. But that's not the one I'm really concerned about. It's going to take me a long time to truly get used to the blastia, I know that.

[...]

I'm more worried about... Well, about your death. I... haven't really thought about it much, honestly. I try not to think about it at all. It... it really scares me.

[He lets his grip tighten on Jaeger's hand; after a moment he shifts a bit, letting his free hand run through Jaeger's hair lightly. The motion is awkward and hesitant, but at least it's an attempt.]

What about it is scaring you so badly...?

[The question is gentle; he suspects he has an idea, but he wants to hear it from Jaeger before making any assumptions about it.]

[He'll lean into that immediately, and some of the tension leaves him.]

It just... it happened so suddenly. There wasn't any warning whatsoever and if this had happened earlier... well, you wouldn't have been able to come back. I know that's a silly thing to be stuck on when it didn't happen, but...

[But he's stuck on it anyway.]

[He just keeps playing with Jaeger's hair, softly; he'll let him talk, and take a moment to gather his own thoughts afterwards.]

It feels like it can happen easily, doesn't it.

[His words are quiet; it's not precisely a question, but not a blunt statement, either - something hovering somewhere inbetween.]

Even if you know it didn't happen, and that it's very difficult for anything like that to happen now - you can't know for sure that something sudden like that won't happen again. Something like that?

Yes, that's exactly it. I know it's silly to be so worked up about it now, but I can't help it. I tried not to focus on it too much at the time, but I was so worried while we were apart.

[It wasn't even for that long! But he couldn't really stop himself from worrying.]

I don't want to lose you, Albert. I know it's much harder for that to happen now, but I worry anyway.

...I think it's natural to worry about things like that for a while. Especially when it's due to something so sudden. But nothing is going to take me from you.

[He knows he can't promise that, but he can be pretty damn sure it won't be easy, at least.]

[He lets out a shaky breath and nods a bit before leaning back into that hair-playing.]

I know. I know you'll be here for me and I know I shouldn't be worrying as much as I have been. Eventually I'll calm down, I'm sure.

[His grip's gone tight on Wesker's hand again though; for now please don't let go.]

[He doesn't let go, but he does shift a bit, pulling Jaeger a bit closer to him; if you want to latch on, he doesn't mind.]

...You don't have to be fine for the time being, you know.

[It's quiet again. Even.]

I don't mind if you need to be upset for a while; you aren't bothering me or upsetting me. Just do whatever you need.

I...

[But whatever it is he was going to say is quickly lost and he moves to latch onto Wesker without hesitation. He wants to say he's fine, but he certainly isn't. He wants to say he will be fine, but right now that feels blatantly untrue. Maybe he really will be okay in a few days or a week or a few months, but right now he's not okay and it's fine to let himself be not okay in front of Wesker. He knows that.

So he clings to his boyfriend and just lets himself be not okay for a little bit. Words aren't really happening right now (for once) but he's shaking and he can't seem to get himself to stop. Just... give him a little bit. He'll pull himself together eventually.]

[It takes him a moment, but after a while Wesker will move a bit, working his fingers out of Jaeger's hand so he can pull his boyfriend close against him, letting his hand stroke down his back while the other remains occupied in Jaeger's hair. He's aware of the shaking, of the lack of words, and he doesn't seem inclined to break the silence; he just lets Jaeger do whatever he needs to do right now.

...He's likely not terribly comfortable, honestly, given everything the virus has done to him; after all, at this point hitting him is more likely to break the aggressor's hand than it is to hurt him at all. But he's doing his best for the time being, and he doesn't seem like he wants to pull away anytime soon, either - this is still awkward for him, but he's willing to tolerate it.]

[No, Wesker isn't very comfortable, but that's hardly the point right now. Jaeger wouldn't want to be anywhere else. He knows this isn't easy for Wesker after dying and coming back, but he's still willing to try and that means so damn much to Jaeger. He continues to lean into the hair-playing, letting his eyes drift shut after awhile as he tries to calm down.

He's safe here; there's nowhere else in the world that's safer. He truly does believe that, so surely he can believe that Wesker can take care of himself, that Wesker really will be okay and nothing sudden will happen to take him away from Jaeger.

It'll be okay. He's sure he can convince himself of that eventually.]

...Thank you.

[It's sort of muffled and he doesn't want to move, but...]

I really appreciate it.

[That gets a quiet noise out of him, enough to indicate that he's heard and he appreciates it, before he just lapses back into silence for a little while. He's still playing with Jaeger's hair, continuing that light stroking motion down his back, and when he does finally say something it's calm.]

I won't let anything take me away from you. I'll always be here, for as long as you want me to be.

[That's doing wonders to get him to calm down. The shaking's mostly stopped by the time Wesker speaks up again, and when he does, it gets Jaeger to laugh softly.]

You may be here forever, then. I don't want to imagine a time when you're not by my side.

[That's...]

...Forever, then.

Edited 2018-03-06 02:19 (UTC)

[There's something nerve-wracking about putting it like that, but Jaeger's response comes quickly.]

Yes. Forever. Unless you're opposed...?

Of course not - why would I be?

[It gets him to laugh, anyway. He sounds a bit relieved when he speaks, though.]

I didn't think you would be! It's good to hear it. Forever, then.

[He pulls away a little then, though he doesn't break contact entirely; he continues playing with Jaeger's hair one-handed, letting his other hand drift to Jaeger's shoulder - he wants to get a look at him, make sure he's all right for the time being.]

Are you feeling any better...?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject