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I understand, but I still think it's better than suffering alone. I may not be able to do anything to help, but I want to know what's troubling you. I want to be here for you, and I feel like I'm not able to do that if I don't know what's going on.

...I suppose that's fair.

[He sounds like he's considering, anyway.]

I admit that I also don't know how to discuss some of it.

[That's good to hear; Jaeger relaxes a bit.]

It's okay if you don't. I have trouble figuring out how to discuss some of these things too! Maybe it'll get easier with practice.

Perhaps.

[He'll let go of Jaeger's hand for the time being, trying to settle a bit.]

...I want to protect you - to keep you away from things that I know are going to hurt you. I don't want anything to bring you undue suffering, especially not when I'm the cause of it.

If I have to suffer, then it's because it's deserved; again, these are my actions, and I need to be handle the consequences of those actions. It doesn't seem fair to me to bring you into it.

[It's not an argument so much as it is an explanation, though.]

[He nods at that and settles. It's good that it's not an argument, because he doesn't really have any way to argue his point.]

I understand. And I do appreciate it - I know you're looking out for me and that means so much to me, but still... I want to be able to do everything I can to help you. I don't like the thought of you dealing with this all by yourself. I know it will be extremely difficult to handle, but I want to be here for you no matter what.

[He leans back against the couch a bit more fully at that; this whole thing is so...]

...I know that things are different now. That I have you, and I have others that are here for me if I need them to be. But I can't stop thinking that something is going to happen - that people will start dying because of me, that I'm going to do something that can't be undone. That I'm going to do what I'm expected to do and fall back into that level of hatred for everything, and there won't be any reasoning with it or trying to talk me down.

Beyond a certain point there was nothing to do but put me out of my misery. I keep thinking that it will happen again - that there isn't going to be anything worth salvaging.

[That's...it, in the end, or at least he's fairly sure it is; it's what things come down to. It's the sort of thing that's been on his mind since they found those notes - he can't get away from those sorts of people, those sorts of situations that led to all of that in the first place. He has no control over it, and no more free will here than he did back then; there's nothing to say that he won't just...break again.]

[Jaeger listens to all of that quietly and even once Wesker is done he doesn't speak up right away. It's difficult to know what to say to that, but he isn't worked up like he was before.]

...I don't believe that you'll ever become the same person you were. Your experiences are too different here. I don't believe you'll ever do the same sorts of things either; I don't believe you'll hate people the way you used to. I think it's a good thing that you're worried about all of this, even though I hate to see you upset by anything.

[He's not sure how to address that last part, but it doesn't sit well with him. If Wesker really did go down that path... would there be anything worth salvaging?

He doesn't say anything about it, because he doesn't want to think about it.]

[It takes him a while.]

...Elda has said that she'll stop me. Should it ever come to that.

Besides, I've been open about it. People know.

[Which likely says a good amount about the faith he doesn't have in himself to not do anything like that again, but at least it's something.]

I don't expect you to do anything about it, should something like that arise. It isn't something I would knowingly put on you.

[He can see why Wesker would want people to know if he has no faith in himself, but it's still sort of troubling. Jaeger eventually nods, though he's having a hard time looking at Wesker.]

Thank you. I want to say I'd stop you too... but I don't know if I could.

I still don't think it'll come to that. But if it ever does... things will be different this time. I'm sure of that.

...Do you think so?

Of course I do. You've been open about this, ja? And besides, you have Elda! Things would be different, if it really did happen.

...I've been trying to keep anything like that from happening again. But it...troubles me, when everything we discover about Retrospec continues to be things like...

[He trails off a bit, though he offers a vague encompassing gesture; all of that. Reminders of Spencer and the corporation and how things used to be.]

...I understand. I sincerely wish they weren't like that, but I suppose there isn't anything we can really do about it.

[It's frustrating to know that the information they find is going to hurt Wesker, but there's nothing to be done about that either.]

Will you talk to me if you think things are getting worse? I may not be able to do anything to help, but... I'd like to know.

[...he really doesn't want to, but while we've been having honesty hour...]

...I've been having some emotional difficulties lately, but I'm not willing to make assumptions regarding them just yet. That's all there is otherwise, outside of everything I've already told you.

Emotional difficulties? What do you mean by that?

Problems feeling things the way I should, that's all. It's all rather muted, but not unbearable.

...I'm sorry, I hadn't realized. If there's ever anything I can do to help...

[But this doesn't sound like the sort of thing that anyone can help with. He knows that.]

Thank you for telling me all of this. I know it can't have been easy.

...It isn't as though I wanted you to know about it in the first place, you don't have to apologize.

[...jesus, wesker.]

[...just. this expression.]

Well, then I really appreciate hearing it! Why did you want to keep it from me?

...I didn't intend to tell you any of this, to be honest.

[...yeah. I mean, that isn't an answer, but...yeah.]

I'm glad you decided to. But that isn't an answer, you know!

...You've had enough to worry about. This was... It seemed pointless to bring it up.

It's not pointless! It's something that you're going through, so of course I'd like to know about it. I want to be able to help you, and I can't even try to do that if I don't know there's a problem.

It isn't anything to be concerned about, Jaeger.

[I mean that stone we've all got is still looking rough as hell, but it should be fine? Zee implied it won't break now, so.]

You know I'm going to be concerned anyway. Please tell me if it gets any worse, okay?

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