From what I understand, it's a voluntary choice; something we do as a last-ditch effort, perhaps, because we have nothing to lose. Or perhaps because we simply like the power - that seems to be the case for some that I've seen. So it's not anything that we're forced into.
I can certainly see where it would. The idea bothers me too, honestly! I can't really say I understand doing it for power, but I suppose I've never experienced anything like that before. It sort of frightens me a bit, actually.
[It's good that Wesker's bothered by it, though. He'd be a bit worried if Wesker wasn't.]
[He'll accept Jaeger's hand with minimal hesitation this time; he appreciates the gesture, anyway, even if anything more during this particular discussion would bother him too badly and he knows it.]
...I'll be fine. It's simply something that I didn't realize was bothering me, that's all.
I'm fine. The information we found toward the end of the expedition troubled me somewhat, admittedly. But it's nothing that I won't be able to manage; it's just given me something to think about.
[It was entirely too close to Spencer.]
Otherwise, it's just been a matter of adjusting to everything, I suppose.
As for the information...it struck me as being too close to the old man's way of doing things. And my own, I suppose, back then. There was so much emphasis on who deserved to be saved and who didn't, it was unsettling.
You're right, there was a lot of emphasis on that. I certainly don't blame you for finding it unsettling. I'm sorry that it had to hit so close to home on a point like that.
[His free hand hovers over the blastia for a moment and Jaeger forces it back down. There's no sense in lying.]
...Well, I've been better. Any problems I've had I've been able to ignore because of our work. But that's not really a good way of handling anything, ja?
Well, I don't really know where to begin. There have been two things bothering me lately, I suppose. The blastia is always on my mind and sometimes it's hard to focus on other things. But that's not the one I'm really concerned about. It's going to take me a long time to truly get used to the blastia, I know that.
[...]
I'm more worried about... Well, about your death. I... haven't really thought about it much, honestly. I try not to think about it at all. It... it really scares me.
[He lets his grip tighten on Jaeger's hand; after a moment he shifts a bit, letting his free hand run through Jaeger's hair lightly. The motion is awkward and hesitant, but at least it's an attempt.]
What about it is scaring you so badly...?
[The question is gentle; he suspects he has an idea, but he wants to hear it from Jaeger before making any assumptions about it.]
[He'll lean into that immediately, and some of the tension leaves him.]
It just... it happened so suddenly. There wasn't any warning whatsoever and if this had happened earlier... well, you wouldn't have been able to come back. I know that's a silly thing to be stuck on when it didn't happen, but...
[He just keeps playing with Jaeger's hair, softly; he'll let him talk, and take a moment to gather his own thoughts afterwards.]
It feels like it can happen easily, doesn't it.
[His words are quiet; it's not precisely a question, but not a blunt statement, either - something hovering somewhere inbetween.]
Even if you know it didn't happen, and that it's very difficult for anything like that to happen now - you can't know for sure that something sudden like that won't happen again. Something like that?
Yes, that's exactly it. I know it's silly to be so worked up about it now, but I can't help it. I tried not to focus on it too much at the time, but I was so worried while we were apart.
[It wasn't even for that long! But he couldn't really stop himself from worrying.]
I don't want to lose you, Albert. I know it's much harder for that to happen now, but I worry anyway.
...I think it's natural to worry about things like that for a while. Especially when it's due to something so sudden. But nothing is going to take me from you.
[He knows he can't promise that, but he can be pretty damn sure it won't be easy, at least.]
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[He has to wonder if Wesker mutated into something that grotesque before his death...]
Does that idea bother you any?
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[It's hesitant, slightly, but it's honest.]
From what I understand, it's a voluntary choice; something we do as a last-ditch effort, perhaps, because we have nothing to lose. Or perhaps because we simply like the power - that seems to be the case for some that I've seen. So it's not anything that we're forced into.
At the same time, it...bothers me, yes.
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I can certainly see where it would. The idea bothers me too, honestly! I can't really say I understand doing it for power, but I suppose I've never experienced anything like that before. It sort of frightens me a bit, actually.
[It's good that Wesker's bothered by it, though. He'd be a bit worried if Wesker wasn't.]
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[He's shaking his head a bit as he says it, though; it's obvious that the idea makes him nervous, it's audible in his words.]
I won't. Even back then, I suspect I didn't want to; it's...
[He trails off, though; shakes his head again.]
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I know you won't. It's a bit terrifying, ja?
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[He'll accept Jaeger's hand with minimal hesitation this time; he appreciates the gesture, anyway, even if anything more during this particular discussion would bother him too badly and he knows it.]
...I'll be fine. It's simply something that I didn't realize was bothering me, that's all.
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[He squeezes Wesker's hand at that.]
I'll always be here if you ever want to talk about it.
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[...]
I know I've been distant lately, but I do want to be here for you.
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I've noticed. I hoped things would settle back into normalcy now that we're back home.
[...]
Is something wrong? Are you okay?
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I'm fine. The information we found toward the end of the expedition troubled me somewhat, admittedly. But it's nothing that I won't be able to manage; it's just given me something to think about.
[It was entirely too close to Spencer.]
Otherwise, it's just been a matter of adjusting to everything, I suppose.
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[But this might be something Wesker needs to work through on his own, so he won't press.]
I understand. We certainly did spend a long time away from home! I'm glad to be back.
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[Like. God, it's nice to be back.]
As for the information...it struck me as being too close to the old man's way of doing things. And my own, I suppose, back then. There was so much emphasis on who deserved to be saved and who didn't, it was unsettling.
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[He's. Trying? He doesn't know.]
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[He squeezes Wesker's hand again, as if to reassure him of that.]
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What about you...? Have you been all right lately?
[It's something of a graceless topic change, but it isn't as though they've had a lot of time to talk lately.]
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[His free hand hovers over the blastia for a moment and Jaeger forces it back down. There's no sense in lying.]
...Well, I've been better. Any problems I've had I've been able to ignore because of our work. But that's not really a good way of handling anything, ja?
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...I understand, I think. It's how I've been handling things as well, for the past month or so.
[It's why he jumped at the opportunity to go so shortly after he'd died.]
Talk to me...?
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Well, I don't really know where to begin. There have been two things bothering me lately, I suppose. The blastia is always on my mind and sometimes it's hard to focus on other things. But that's not the one I'm really concerned about. It's going to take me a long time to truly get used to the blastia, I know that.
[...]
I'm more worried about... Well, about your death. I... haven't really thought about it much, honestly. I try not to think about it at all. It... it really scares me.
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What about it is scaring you so badly...?
[The question is gentle; he suspects he has an idea, but he wants to hear it from Jaeger before making any assumptions about it.]
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It just... it happened so suddenly. There wasn't any warning whatsoever and if this had happened earlier... well, you wouldn't have been able to come back. I know that's a silly thing to be stuck on when it didn't happen, but...
[But he's stuck on it anyway.]
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It feels like it can happen easily, doesn't it.
[His words are quiet; it's not precisely a question, but not a blunt statement, either - something hovering somewhere inbetween.]
Even if you know it didn't happen, and that it's very difficult for anything like that to happen now - you can't know for sure that something sudden like that won't happen again. Something like that?
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[It wasn't even for that long! But he couldn't really stop himself from worrying.]
I don't want to lose you, Albert. I know it's much harder for that to happen now, but I worry anyway.
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[He knows he can't promise that, but he can be pretty damn sure it won't be easy, at least.]
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I know. I know you'll be here for me and I know I shouldn't be worrying as much as I have been. Eventually I'll calm down, I'm sure.
[His grip's gone tight on Wesker's hand again though; for now please don't let go.]
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