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[Wesker has always been a light sleeper, particularly after nightmares; sometimes it's difficult to wake from them but generally speaking if Jaeger is awake, then so is he.

Tonight is a little different, though, tonight was...jarring, and it wasn't particularly anyone's idea of a good time, and it's the sort of dream that leaves him feeling cold and somewhat outside himself when he awakens from it and it takes him a moment to remember where he is.

They're in the manor, and the room is his own and not someone else's (not Spencer's, it doesn't belong to Spencer because it never belonged to Spencer) and it takes him a while to realize that Jaeger's breathing isn't the usual even pattern that implies he's asleep.]

So you're awake.

[...Thanks, Wesker.]

...Are you all right?

[That's better.]

[Yeah, he really should have known better than to think Wesker would manage to stay asleep...]

I'm...

[fine he wants to say, but he can't manage it. He doesn't like lying to Wesker, so instead his gaze darts.]

...I'll be okay.

I understand if you don't want to talk to me about it.

[It's not exactly a question of whether Jaeger wants to talk at all; he just can see where talking to him about it, specifically - assuming it was the same dream - might not happen.]

Edited 2018-07-22 15:02 (UTC)

[Jaeger reaches out for one of Wesker's hands. If he's perfectly honest with himself, he doesn't want to talk about it. Not with Wesker, not with anyone. But he's always like this, he'd prefer to just pretend it never happened and move on with his life. It's easier said than done, though, and he's been trying to avoid acting like that.

It takes him a moment, but he finally shakes his head.]

No, I... I'll talk to you about it. I just... don't really know where to start...

[He isn't facing Jaeger properly; he knows his eyes are disturbing, and even in the darkness he prefers keeping them averted, at least. He'll find Jaeger's hand immediately with his own, however; he knows this is difficult.]

Take your time. It'll be all right.

Yes, it will be.

[He sounds confident about that, at least.

He knows he should be focusing on this, but right now all he can think about is how Wesker's looking away. The eyes are still creepy, but he doesn't like the idea that Wesker won't look at him because of them. It might not necessarily be just because of his own comfort, but...]

...I promise I'll talk about it in a moment, I'm not trying to avoid it, but... You can look at me, if you want to.

[He hesitates for a moment, trying to find a more eloquent way to word it before finally giving up.]

I'd like it if you did.

Liar.

[It's as gentle as it always is, though; there's never anything sharp or accusatory when he says that.]

I know it bothers you; I don't like the way it looks, either. It's fine.

I'm not lying. I want you to look at me.

[He's not entirely sure he can explain it; he's not really sure he understands why he wants it so badly right now, but give him a moment and he'll try to work himself out.]

I... I want you to feel comfortable around me. I don't want you to feel like you have to look away for my sake. I want to get used to your eyes.

[They're still creepy and he's sure it'll take time to get used to them, but that's what he wants more than anything else right now.]

I do feel comfortable around you; you would know it if I didn't.

[His gaze is still averted, though, shifting around awkwardly like he isn't certain where to focus for the time being; after a moment he'll let them slide closed for a bit.]

They're ugly at best, Jaeger. I hate them.

[He'll open them eventually, though, and he isn't making eye contact very well but at least he's trying a bit more.]

[Jaeger's grip tightens on Wesker's hand encouragingly. It's not exactly okay because Wesker's eyes are still pretty creepy, but he's not looking away or flinching.]

I understand. I want to get used to them, though. It's... important to me.

[He's not sure how to word it, but there's something almost comforting about seeing them again after dealing with that dream version of Wesker.]

...I can try to show them to you more often if you want, then.

[It's going to be awkward and he's pretty sure no one's going to like it, but it can be done, he supposes.]

Yes, I'd like that.

[...Okay, so maybe he won't actually like it, but it'll be worth it in the end. He's going to get used to Wesker's eyes, no matter how long it takes.]

...Thank you. I know this isn't easy, but I really do think it's important.

You don't have to force yourself if they bother you, you know. I don't mind.

[...Some part of him, though, is pleased with this in some way; he can't explain it very well, and it's difficult to admit to, but it's there.]

I want to get used to them. I don't want you to always have to worry about that sort of thing; I want you to feel at ease around me. And besides, it feels sort of strange to talk to you when you're looking away!

[He's always been the sort of person to make entirely too much eye contact. He doesn't stare or anything, but there's always a lot of eye contact. It feels kind of weird not to have that? Even if Wesker's eyes are creepy, he's going to get used to them. He's got his mind set on it now.]

[Wesker's never liked eye contact in general; it's part of the reason for the dark glasses all the time - so it's more difficult to tell when he's avoiding it. But he'll attempt for now, at least, though he'll occasionally glance away just because of who he is as a person.]

...We do have a fair amount to talk about, don't we.

[It's not precisely a question.]

[...Ah. That gets him to glance away for a moment before he corrects it and nods.]

Yes, I suppose we do. I'm... still not really sure where to start...

[He wants to reassure Wesker that he's okay, but is he? Honestly, he's not sure.]

That dream was... a bit much. To put it lightly.

I assume it was similar to how things worked in October, where we were experiencing the same thing. With Barry, this time...?

Yes. I think it must be something similar.

[He's quiet for a moment, absently reaching up with his free hand to play with his bangs.]

...You didn't remember me at all, right?

...It's difficult to explain.

[This, from the sound of it, is something he doesn't really want to get into; he doesn't like it and it's obvious from his tone, but he'll force himself to continue after a moment.]

I couldn't let anyone stop me. It was the one opportunity I had, and I couldn't give it up regardless of who was standing in my way.

I...recognized you, but I wasn't in much position to care about that fact.

[He can see why Wesker wouldn't want to get into it...]

I...

[understand is how he wants to finish that, but does he? Jaeger takes a breath and tries to settle before attempting again.]

You thought it was your one shot at leaving Umbrella, ja? That was the most important thing to you in the dream. I imagine your memories were a little jumbled if you recognized me. But that... I think I can understand why that was so important to you.

[He's doing his best to look at it rationally, to not let emotion blind him because that's not fair. It's not like Wesker would ever do something like that now, after all.]

[He's calm when he speaks, his voice a bit too even. A bit too straightforward.]

I gave up a lot of my close relationships back then. What they meant to me varied; Barry hardly mattered, outside of being a good man that I had no argument with. Chris and Jill were obviously different. You know my thoughts on Birkin.

I was willing to give up more or less everything if it meant that I could have what I wanted. This was another thing that I was required to let go of.

[He's quiet for a moment.]

I never regret anything, in dreams or memories like that. I obviously hate it now, but back then it was simply something that had to be done. Removing anything or anyone that might stand in my way.

It's never personal. But there are no regrets.

...It felt like I was talking to a different person.

[A stranger, and a very dangerous one at that. He's never been uncomfortable like that around Wesker, he's never thought Wesker would hurt him...]

I'm glad it wasn't personal. Not that I thought it was, of course, but...

[He's honestly not sure what to say. His grip has gone really tight on Wesker's hand and eye contact isn't happening anymore, but he's doing his best not to just... shut down and stop talking. He'd like nothing more than to pretend this never happened, but what good will that do? Ignoring the problem doesn't make it go away, as much as he wishes it would.]

...Sorry, I... I'll be okay. It was just... sort of a shock, I suppose.

[He'll let his own grip tighten on Jaeger's hand, and after a moment he'll reach out to run his free hand through Jaeger's hair a little; he'll stop if he gets any indication that Jaeger is uncomfortable - honestly, he wouldn't blame him - but for now, he'll keep it gentle and steady.]

I'm sorry.

[It's quiet, but it's still even.]

Even if it wasn't...real, I'm sorry for hurting you, for being willing to do something like that to you.

[It gets the opposite response, actually; he leans into it immediately, letting his eyes slide closed and just enjoying it for a moment.

That's what he needed to hear, honestly.]

It's... It was a dream, and dreams have a way of being strange and surreal, ja? Besides, it must be difficult for you as well. I... It was... Well, it was terrible, but I'm not angry or upset with you. I'm a little upset that it happened, yes, but... I think I can understand, at least a little bit.

[Is it difficult for him as well? It's not really something he seems to be letting himself process; he knows it wasn't real, and that it's fine now, and every time he tries to consider it beyond that it's like there's something stopping him from working through it too far.

Again, he doesn't like it, but...mnngh.]

Even if you understand, it shouldn't have happened. It's all right to be upset over it.

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