manufactured | INBOX 2.0

...I feel like I understand, often, why I wanted to destroy everything in my past life. Sometimes I still think about it - nothing concrete, no plans, just abstract things. Mostly centered on the idea that it would be better to end everything quickly than let everyone be used like this.

[It's a problem he's had in the past as well, those sorts of thoughts; at least he's willing to tell you about it now.]

I haven't experienced anything quite like that, obviously, but I can see where that idea could be appealing. The things you went through were horrible, so it's no wonder you don't want that to happen again.

[He'll reach up with his free hand to gently run it through the back of Wesker's hair.]

It'll be okay, though. We'll find Vanderweele and we'll put a stop to this. This is something we will not allow to continue. For all of us.

[But especially for Wesker.]

[That's...nice, honestly... He lets his eyes close at that, anyway.]

...Birkin and I destroyed everything back in the Arklay Mountains, you know. The training facility, the labs. The mansion. All of it. I remembered watching it burn recently.

[He isn't sure why he feels the need to say it, but it seems like something to say for the time being.]

I can imagine that was satisfying, to see it all go up in flames like that.

[Don't worry, he won't stop.]

It was.

That happened on the day that the authorities decided to use for my birthday in this life. I still don't like it, but I find it very slightly more acceptable.

Ah, I see. I think it's good to remember it, but it's better to have your birthday on a different day.

I agree. It was at the center of a rather...intense three days back then, and I still don't know what I think of all of it - that was when I betrayed S.T.A.R.S. and died for the first time, after all.

July was always a bit of a strange time back then for me anyway, I suppose. That was when Birkin and I were first brought to the training facility; twenty years later, that was the last time I saw him alive. He died two months later.

I see. I imagine that must have been difficult.

[...]

You seem to be more okay talking about all of this now. Are you doing all right with all of it?

Yes. Spending time with the memorials has been helping; it gives me someplace to go if I want to think about and remember it, and so there's less pressure for me to keep it on my mind constantly.

I received a few more things that I put down there recently; I've been keeping the flowers up. It's...been good, I think,

I'm glad it's working out so well! I think it's a wonderful idea... I'm still working on mine, but once I'm ready I'll let you see them!

I really am glad that it helps to remember them like that.

...I think I would be all right with you coming down with me once in a while again.

[Seeing as he's wanted to be alone for the past while.]

I still miss them. More than I ever would have back then. It's a little strange for me still.

I'd like that. I'll be sure to get flowers!

[The second part gets him to nod.]

I understand. I feel the same way, I think. I miss a lot of people from my past life, even the ones I didn't know very well and don't remember much about. It's... strange, to feel more about them now than I ever did.

I think it's nice, though. I'm glad you do miss them, even if it is pretty strange.

I wasn't on very good terms with most of them, but they were still important figures in my life, whether I wanted to admit that or not. And I think I did care about some of them, as much as I was capable. Chris and Jill. Birkin. People like that.

[...]

...I think Birkin was trying to look out for me, in his own way, even though we were arguing the last time I spent time with him because he refused to come with me. He gave me the virus immediately before we parted ways; he seemed convinced it would help in some way. It was...incredibly backwards, but I do think he tried.

It sounds like he did. I'm glad you had him, he really does sound like he was a good friend in his own way.

[And you know. considering Umbrella's everything...]

He was terrible, honestly. Completely in love with his viruses, possibly moreso than he was with Annette.

[It's almost affectionate-sounding, though.]

Those above us at the training facility liked to try to set us against each other. To make us dislike each other, and encourage us to compete against each other rather than collaborate. We just decided that we didn't want to do that and ignored them.

[That gets Jaeger to laugh.]

It certainly sounds like you two got along quite well despite all their meddling! It really is good you had someone there for you, even if he was a bit too obsessed with his viruses!

We were going to change the world, he and I. Of course, it's ultimately for the best that we didn't, but it's what we wanted when we were younger and just starting out - to see how far we could get, to maybe take over Umbrella one day.

[His tone is still fond, though he shakes his head eventually.]

I'm far more fond of what I have now, though.

[He laughs again at that.]

It is hard to beat happily married to someone as charming as me, ja~? Birkin never stood a chance!

[It's like 95% poking fun at his own insecurities there but also he's really glad, okay.]

I'd certainly say not.

[So much hair-playing, you.]

[Good!! Don't you dare stop!!]

I really couldn't be happier, so I'm glad you're quite fond of your life now~!

Of course I am.

[He's quiet for a moment at that, though, still playing with Jaeger's hair as he considers.]

I was still having so many difficulties at this time last year; to be honest, I wasn't sure if I was capable of being happy in this life either. But I definitely am - I enjoy my life the way it is now, even if things are difficult. I still have things that I'm concerned about, and things that I'm not sure how I feel about, as well... But I am happy now.

[Oh, that's really nice...]

I know things won't be easy, and I certainly don't expect them to be! But no matter what happens, I'll always be right here by your side, and I'll continue to do what I can to help you and make you happy. That does mean so much to me, after all... I always want you to be able to enjoy this life, despite all the difficult things we end up going through.

You've definitely ensured that I can.

[...]

I believe...at least as far as I'm concerned, I'm not going to worry about differentiating between who I am now and who I used to be anymore.

[It's difficult to put it into words; even once he has, he's not entirely certain it's what he's trying to get across.]

It's one of the things I've been thinking about lately - since the incident in the hospital, and what happened at Magatus. These things upset me because they're too close to my experiences, not someone else's...

I know we've been saying that it's important to keep our current lives separate from our past lives, but I don't know if I feel right doing that anymore.

[He's quiet for a moment as he processes that.]

I think I understand. It is difficult to look at it as though it's another person's memories and feelings we've been receiving. They're our past lives, so they'll always be a part of us in some way, whether we want to acknowledge that or not.

[...]

It's important for you to do what you believe is best for you. If you want to look at it like that, then I'll support you, of course. It might take a bit of getting used to, but I can certainly do that.

It doesn't change our situation, in the end; it isn't as though I'm claiming that I'm an entirely different person because of it. I'm just at a different stage of my life now.

He's who I used to be, in the same way that the person I was ten years ago is who I used to be, and I'm willing to accept that.

[...]

I'm glad you understand.

INBOX 2.0 | RECOLLE

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