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You really did go through so much... You can talk to me about it sometime, if you want to.

[Please talk to him about these sorts of things...]

[...]

You wouldn't want to hear it, Jaeger.

I want to be able to help you, and if it'll help to talk about it... then I'd like to listen.

[Wesker usually has a really good sense of these things, though. As much as he wants to help, he's aware that sometimes he's just not capable of it. It's frustrating that he can't keep his emotions in check for long enough to assist Wesker.]

[He hesitates then, because this time it isn't about protecting Jaeger so much as it is not being sure how ready he is to talk about these things himself.

His grip on Jaeger's hand tightens a little.]

There are a lot of things that happened there. I admit that I'm not sure where to start.

[His grip tightens in return.]

You can start wherever you'd like. It doesn't have to be from the very beginning. Maybe you could start with what stands out to you the most? What part gives you the most trouble?

...I don't remember anything at all before the Umbrella Corporation.

[That's...it's something, anyway.]

I assume, at one point, that I had a family and a life outside of it. From what the old man said, I was...collected. I don't know if that means I was given up willingly or if I was taken. Neither option would surprise me at this point.

Either way, you remember that dream back in October, I imagine. I wasn't designed to have free will.

[Jaeger's honestly not sure what to do with that, but he nods at the last part.]

Ja, I remember. It... It really must have been very difficult. I can't imagine being told something like that...

[His grip on Wesker's hand tightens.]

I think that was the point where I...broke, honestly.

[It's uncomfortable to discuss it, but...]

I was already hurt and angry. I hated the corporation, I destroyed it when I had the chance and didn't look back. But that was when I decided that I would become a god over humanity, to try to...save them, i suppose. Because what I was doing was never about cruelty, Uroboros was designed to kill quickly and without bias, it was never about making humanity suffer even though they deserved it.

[His words are tight, pressured, and they're picking up pace in a way that they usually don't.]

I wanted to create a world I could control. No pain, no abuse, no suffering. Something of my own design, with only people that I could understand. No more humans. Just monsters, like me.

Albert...

[It's a bit strange to hear him admit it, and it's a difficult thing to discuss even for him. He can only imagine how painful it is for Wesker.

After a moment, Jaeger brings his free hand up to hold Wesker's hand in both of his own. He wants to establish more contact than that, but he's not sure how appreciated it would be right now. This will have to do for the time being.]

I think I can understand, at least a little bit. You had been beaten down again and again, and every time something good happened to you, something worse would follow. You destroyed Umbrella, but that old man... I think I can see why you broke after hearing something like that.

[It's terrifying to think that you were created in someone else's image, more or less trained to act and react a certain way.]

I'm so sorry. What you did wasn't right, but given everything you went through... I think I can see where the desire came from.

I wanted everything to stop, I think. No suffering, and no surprises. I'd had enough, but giving up wasn't an option. It's never been an option. I keep moving forward now because I have no other choice; I didn't have a choice back then, either. It was either defeat the world or lie down and die, and I've never been good at simply lying down and dying.

[...]

It honestly felt like the only option I had left. There was no place in the world for people like me. If I wanted one, it would have to be created.

I know. I can't imagine you giving up, no matter what you're facing.

[It's something he's always admired about Wesker, it was just taken to a terrifying extreme in his past life.]

It must have been difficult. All of that, but especially knowing that you didn't have a place in the world as it was. Not that your actions were right, but I can see why you felt you had no other options.

[He nods a bit at that, the gesture tight, before he tries to make himself continue; he doesn't talk like this often - he hates admitting to anything like this, especially pain, but...]

It...hurts, I suppose. Knowing that it didn't have to be like that, and that I had no chance at a normal life because someone else decided to choose me at random and take that chance away from me. And by the end, I couldn't stop; I couldn't change for the better, I couldn't do anything but follow a path that had been laid for me by someone that wanted to use me, all I had that I knew for certain was my own was the hatred and the anger.

I... It's terrifying, honestly, but mostly it's just painful for me.

I understand. It sounds so painful, so difficult to handle back then... and remembering all of that now isn't any better. You have to relive all of that, knowing that there isn't anything that could help. I'm so sorry.

[His grip is very tight, so he forces himself to loosen it a bit.]

I wish there was some way to help. The most I can do is listen and be here for you, I think.

[It's not enough and it never will be enough, but there really isn't anything else that can be done, is there?]

...You're doing fine, Jaeger.

[He's quiet, though.]

I've never really known what to do with sympathy. I don't see much point in it, to be honest. But I know you're here for me.

[It gets him to smile a bit, though the expression's subdued.]

It's okay if you don't know what to do with it. I'm glad you know that I'm here for you; I always will be. I love you so much and I'm happy to be here with you.

I know you won't leave me alone if you can help it.

Of course. I don't want you to ever have to be alone again. I'll always do my best to be right here beside you.

You really have always been kind to me, in that regard. Even when I didn't appreciate it very much.

Well, I'll admit that at first it was mostly because I assumed you were lonely. I was projecting quite a bit back then... But I can't say I regret it! I really am so happy I've gotten the chance to get to know you so well, Albert.

...I think I can understand where my way of living might seem painful to people who aren't used to it.

[He knows that's likely why Silver kept trying to pull him out of the house, and why Jaeger kept trying to spend so much time with him at the start.]

I'm glad you're in my life now, however... It doesn't trouble you, does it? That I still don't leave this place much.

No, it doesn't! Some people just don't like to get out all that often. I will insist on dragging you out sometimes, though! I do like going out, after all!

[He spends all day talking to people so he can come home and live the shut-in life with you most of the time, but he's still ridiculously outgoing and he can't sit still for very long, so...]

...I don't mind as much if it's with you, or if I have someone else there with me in general. I just don't care much for going out alone.

That's understandable! Going out alone really isn't much fun at all, honestly... I'd much rather be here with you!

...It's appreciated, at any rate.

I'm always happy to be with you, whether we're going out or staying in. I really do enjoy spending time with you, after all!

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