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Of course.

[Come on, let's go, then.

...He won't let go of your hand for the time being, all right.]

What...were they talking about, if I can ask?

Edited 2018-04-16 02:55 (UTC)

[Thanks, he appreciates it...

That question gets him to shake his head, agitated, and an answer leaves him before he even has time to think about it.]

I don't know.

[It gets an angry red mark to jolt down towards his sternum and it takes him a moment of silence to amend it.]

...I don't really want to talk about it.

[...Jesus. All right.]

...I understand where this makes me a hypocrite, given what happened with my own. But you know you can talk to me, correct...?

...I know. But it's really not that big of a concern.

[Another mark. Jaeger brings his free hand up to touch the mark on his chest. It sort of stings a bit? That'll probably go away soon enough, though.]

If it weren't a concern, you wouldn't be lying to me about it.

[The pattern here is not exactly hard to spot, Jaeger.]

[Oh come on, couldn't you just let him get away with it...]

It's just something I've been thinking about sometimes.

[He really, really doesn't like lying to you (and being called out on it) but he really doesn't want to talk about this either. It's okay, it's fine. He isn't that worried about it, right? Right.

...Just give him a second to catch his breath before we keep going, the pain's getting worse.]

[He'll stop, then, reaching out to run his free hand through Jaeger's hair; he's aware that he may have crossed some sort of line, but...]

Whatever you hear, if there's anything else, will probably make it sound much worse than it is. I was told a good amount about how I tortured Jill and Excella for nothing, and about how I was apparently just willing to let everyone here be used in the same way the old man used me. How I need to save all of you and make it up to them.

You may hear more while we're still here, and I have no doubt this is upsetting you, but whatever's being said likely isn't an accurate reflection.

[His words are calm as ever; it helps that he's gone through this before. He isn't pushing for Jaeger to tell him for now, just...trying to calm him down.]

Edited (grammar is hard) 2018-04-16 03:13 (UTC)

[No, you haven't crossed any lines. If anything, it's a good move, and Jaeger leans into it almost immediately. He's looking somewhere off to the side because he can't get himself to look at Wesker right now, but he does appreciate the hair-playing.

His hand is still on his chest and his grip tightens a bit at that.]

No, it's... They're right. What those voices are saying is true. I've always been the sort to run away from my problems or hide everything. I'm even trying to do it right now, aren't I?

[He laughs, but the sound is bitter.]

...I know you don't like handling your problems very much. You tend to focus on mine rather than admit that you have any of your own. I know that.

[It's even, though; there's nothing chiding about it, nor does it sound like he's judging for it.]

It's why I ask you to talk to me sometimes. But it isn't as though you don't have to do the same for me.

[He's quiet for a moment before speaking up.]

...I don't really know how to deal with my problems. I never really had to when I was younger. With enough money, you can make most of your problems disappear. I've never had issues like this before.

[The pain lessens a bit, at least, though he doesn't let go of his jacket.]

[He's still playing with your hair, at least, don't worry.]

And now you're concerned you won't be able to...?

[Jaeger hesitates for a moment before finally nodding.]

I should be able to handle these things on my own, ja? I should be strong enough. But I... I really don't think I am.

[He...really hates to ask, but...]

What "things" are we referring to, exactly?

[He really doesn't want to talk about it and the hesitation's longer this time. But eventually he speaks, because he really can't keep anything from Wesker for long.]

...Retrospec's... everything, really. I have enough trouble handling my own memories, but I'm mostly worried about everything you're stuck dealing with. You have to deal with these terrible memories and I'm only hearing about them and still I have problems. I don't know what to say or do. I don't know how to help. And I'm worried that... that I won't be able to keep up, that I won't be able to handle everything you're telling me and then you'll just... stop telling me things entirely because it's too much for me.

But it's not, I promise. I can handle it, it's not that big of a deal—

[He winces as another line radiates outward from the central mark, but that doesn't get him to stop. He's speaking a bit too fast now, but it's important to get all the words out, because he can't have Wesker believing that he's too weak for this.]

I'll do better, I'll stop worrying so much. It's just something stupid that bothers me occasionally, but it's really not— not that big of a deal.

[Some of the already existing lines deepen, with smaller ones branching off from them. It's definitely not helping with the pain, but a little pain is nothing compared to actually admitting his problems and addressing them.]

[...Okay. Okay, just...let him tighten his grip on Jaeger's hand a bit, trying to give him something else to focus on, to get his thoughts to settle a little.]

I'll admit I'm concerned sometimes about how much I put on you. Not because I don't think you can handle it, precisely, but because...well, as I've said, it's unfair to you. You don't know how to help because there often isn't any way to help; you don't know what to say or do because no one would, in your situation.

[...]

I'm not normal, Jaeger. I don't process things the same way most people do. I think it's likely you've noticed that by now.

[The weird fearlessness, the fact that he almost never gets upset or angry, the inability to understand certain social cues. The lack of a reaction that isn't purely rational to being told something like this, even.]

I don't tell you things sometimes because I know they'll hurt you in a way that they don't hurt me. It has nothing to do with whether I think you can handle it.

[He's quiet through all of that, occasionally looking at Wesker before his eyes dart away again.

He knows Wesker isn't normal, though it's not something he'd ever say. It's not pleasant to hear it, but this does make it pretty obvious. Wesker's approaching things rationally, which is something he can't do right now. He's always been good at calming Jaeger down, but right now he's still tense.]

I can handle it, so it's not something you ever need to be worried about. I'm... I'm okay, really.

[His grip tightens on his coat when the pain flares up.]

I'm strong enough to handle it, despite what they've said. I have to be.

[Some part of him knows he's not quite making sense, that he's too disconnected from what Wesker's saying, but he's too worked up to really sort himself out properly right now.]

[He considers that for a moment.]

What do you mean, you have to be...?

[Come on, Jaeger. Talk to him.]

[...Maybe he shouldn't have said that. He really doesn't want to get into it, but there's no going back now.]

W-Well... if I'm not... Maybe it wouldn't be worth it for you to stay with me. If you couldn't even talk to me about the things that are troubling you... Well, maybe you'd be better off without me.

[There's definitely no eye contact now. The pain's lessening a bit since he's actually being honest for once.]

[His immediate response to that is sincere but it's ugly, something that he's going to file away in his head and never say out loud - not because it's confirming what Jaeger is saying (it's not), but because it's denying it in a way that he doesn't want to touch right now. It's something he'd promised someone else once; it'd ended poorly.

So for a moment he's just quiet, and he keeps playing with Jaeger's hair, and it's obvious that he's trying to find words.]

...I always seek you out when I'm at my lowest. When I don't feel that I can handle things on my own. Even when I don't want to talk about it, just being with you helps me. I would certainly never be better off without you - I mean it entirely when I say that I would be dead by now, if it weren't for you.

[He shakes his head a little after that's out there, like he's trying to clear it a bit; give him a second.]

You make me happy, and it's not because of what you can do for me, or whether you always know the right things to say. Just...being with me is enough.

And if you're still concerned with whether or not you're doing enough for me - you make me feel like perhaps there's something about myself that's worth salvaging, and like maybe there's something about the world that's worth staying in it. That's... It's important to me, everything you've done. I don't express it often enough, maybe, but you never have to worry about whether my life is better with you in it.

[Jaeger's quiet through all of that, and while he doesn't really react at first, the tension's slowly leaving him. His chest doesn't hurt quite as much anymore.]

...Thank you.

[For a moment that's really all he can think to say, because the weight of what Wesker's told him is almost overwhelming. It hurts, but it's relieving to hear.]

I... I really do love you so much. I can't stand the thought of losing you, especially not to something I feel like I could prevent. Which is... stupid, I know. But I guess that's what's been worrying me.

I really am happy to hear that I mean that much to you. I... I don't really know what to do with that, honestly. Ah, but that's a bit silly, isn't it? I always want you to tell me how much I mean to you and when you do it, I'm not sure what to say in response...

[It gets a small smile to tug at the corners of his mouth, anyway.]

You always want me to flirt with you, too, and yet you get so flustered every time I attempt it...

[It's light, though, moreso than he usually is.]

I won't say that nothing will ever happen, because we've seen enough by now to know why I can't promise that. But I will promise you that I won't willingly leave you, and no matter what happens, I'll always come back to you. No matter what stands in the way, or what it takes to return to you, I always will. I've beaten enough odds to think that I can manage that well enough, even if it takes time.

Do you believe me?

Not every time...

[It's every time.

Anyway, he settles once that's out there and by the time Wesker's done speaking, he's relaxed and making eye contact again.]

Yes. I absolutely believe you.

[Wesker's gone through a lot, but Jaeger absolutely believes that hell itself wouldn't be able to contain this man if he really wanted out. His smile is calm as he continues.]

I sincerely hope we never have to put that to the test, but if we do... I'll wait for you. I promise.

[The red marks are slowly beginning to fade too.]

[...Good. That's good.]

Of course, I don't foresee that being much of a problem to begin with - again, I won't leave you willingly, and apparently I'm good at putting up a fight when I have to.

[Honestly, it's slightly terrible but there was a damn good reason he thought he was suitable to be considered God back then.]

Just ensure that I have something to come back to and we'll be fine.

You always will. I may not be quite as amazing, but I can certainly hold my own! I'll definitely be here for you, should anything happen.

[The last of the red marks fade and Jaeger squeezes Wesker's hand tightly.]

But hopefully we won't ever be parted for that long! I really don't know what I'd do. Well, besides worry. I'd certainly be doing a lot of that!

[It's light though; this is good.]

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