It's good that it was something that helped you, and I really did feel it was important to tell you how I feel about all of that. Still, you know I don't like upsetting you...
I know you don't particularly like this topic, coming from me. But I've been curious about it since that discussion - do you think people can be inherently evil, or do you believe it all to be a matter of circumstance?
[Mm, you're right, he doesn't like the topic, but give him a moment to consider it.]
...No, I don't believe people can be inherently evil. There are certainly people out there who do terrible things, even without any sort of reason, but even then I can't say they're inherently evil.
Perhaps it's just because I do want to believe that everyone is capable of being at least a decent person, but I don't like the idea that anyone is always going to be evil.
It's admittedly a bit of a tricky topic, and I'll admit my views come from wanting to believe that there's at least a chance for good in everyone.
It's always been something I've believed in, really - a predisposition toward one or the other, at least, if not an inherent trait. I've never found it easy to have faith in people like what you're describing.
[He pauses for a moment; he knows Jaeger won't like any of what he wants to say, and it takes him a while to find words.]
Some people don't have the capacity to be either. They don't possess the general inclination to be evil, but they also lack any ability to truly be good - they're defective in some way, and it shows in how they relate to the world. So they may not be evil, but they can never be considered truly good, either.
[For a long moment, Jaeger doesn't know what to say to that. He tenses at the word "defective" and doesn't relax even once Wesker's done explaining. His grip on Wesker's hand has gone very tight as well.]
...You really believe that? You really believe you're "defective"? Why?
[And this is probably a good example of why, really - he can tell, cognitively, that Jaeger is getting upset, but this is just a fact to him and he's going to state it as such.]
You know I don't relate to people well - that my capacity for empathy is very low. I don't care if I lose people close to me; at best it's a temporary setback, an inconvenience. I have a few exceptions, but generally I only keep people close if they're useful to me in some way.
I don't feel things in ways that a good person would, assuming I feel them at all. If I do good things, it's because I'm forcing myself to act as I think a good person should; I have no natural capacity to be a good person simply because it's who I am.
[His gaze flickers away at some point during that and even though he tries to correct it, he can't manage it. He knows Wesker wouldn't lie to him about something like this, but is this really what Wesker thinks of himself...?]
...Albert, I...
[For a moment that's all he can manage. He knows there isn't going to be any changing Wesker's mind, and honestly he's not even sure if he can try to fight it any. It's just... really upsetting.]
You know I don't agree with that, right? I could never agree with that. You're different, yes, but that doesn't mean you're defective.
[His grip is still really tight on Wesker's hand; he doesn't want to let go.]
I don't expect you to agree with it; I've expressed this to you once before, briefly, and you didn't like it then.
[Back in Magatus, during that fight they'd had in April; the context had been different, but Jaeger hadn't liked hearing him call himself defective then, either.]
[He tries to settle, to calm down at least a little bit, but it's not working.]
I've never thought that about you, and I never will. I love you so much, Albert, I...
[...don't know how to finish that, apparently. Jaeger's shaking a bit by the time he trails off. He knows he should have more to say, but he can't figure out how to put his thoughts into words.]
[He'll allow it, of course, the hair-playing usually gets him to calm down pretty quickly but he's still tense and not really reacting to it very well. It takes him a moment to lean into it, and even that is more of a mechanical response than it usually is.]
It's not all right, I wouldn't tolerate anyone else saying something like that about you. I just... You mean so much to me and I... I just...
[Words are failing him and it gets a soft frustrated noise from him.]
[He nods a bit at that, taking a moment just to close his eyes and breathe. It takes him longer than he'd like to calm down even a little bit; the tension doesn't leave him entirely, but he does seem a bit more centered when he opens his eyes again.]
...I've never liked the idea that anyone is "defective". People are different. No one's going to react to things the same way, and while the majority of people might react in similar ways, people who don't follow that aren't wrong or broken for having a different reaction.
[Okay, that's good so far. That at least gives a little context to why he's so worked up.]
I'd be bothered if we were talking about anyone, not just you. But because it's you, it's... it's a lot worse. I love you so much, after all, and I've never looked at you that way. I've never considered that someone could look at you that way. So it's... troubling to hear that's how you consider yourself.
[It takes him a while to sort out how he wants to respond to that, to sort through his thoughts a bit.]
I'm not trying to say that I'm worth less than anyone else, or that nothing I do matters as much as what anyone else does. People...who are like me aren't inherently inferior, nor are they necessarily bad people.
At the same time, there is something wrong with us, even if it isn't our fault. That's just the way it is, objectively speaking. I wouldn't word it like this to them directly, admittedly, but it isn't... I'm not trying to say that I'm worth less than you or anyone else, in the end.
no subject
no subject
[ c: ]
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
no subject
[...]
Might I ask you something?
no subject
no subject
no subject
...No, I don't believe people can be inherently evil. There are certainly people out there who do terrible things, even without any sort of reason, but even then I can't say they're inherently evil.
Perhaps it's just because I do want to believe that everyone is capable of being at least a decent person, but I don't like the idea that anyone is always going to be evil.
It's admittedly a bit of a tricky topic, and I'll admit my views come from wanting to believe that there's at least a chance for good in everyone.
no subject
[He doesn't, but he's trying.]
It's always been something I've believed in, really - a predisposition toward one or the other, at least, if not an inherent trait. I've never found it easy to have faith in people like what you're describing.
no subject
But I do want to believe that everyone could be good at some point, even if their circumstances are so terrible that they no longer believe that.
[It doesn't really cover people who are awful just because, but he's trying.]
Why do you believe people are predisposed to be one or the other? Do you think a person who is "evil" can ever be good?
no subject
[So no, not really.]
It's just how I've always known things to be; I've never particularly questioned it. It's always seemed to be the order of things.
For what it's worth, I do believe there to be fewer truly evil people than there are truly good.
no subject
[...He knows he's not going to like the answer to this, but he has to ask.]
Where do you think you fall?
no subject
[He pauses for a moment; he knows Jaeger won't like any of what he wants to say, and it takes him a while to find words.]
Some people don't have the capacity to be either. They don't possess the general inclination to be evil, but they also lack any ability to truly be good - they're defective in some way, and it shows in how they relate to the world. So they may not be evil, but they can never be considered truly good, either.
That's where I fall.
no subject
...You really believe that? You really believe you're "defective"? Why?
no subject
[And this is probably a good example of why, really - he can tell, cognitively, that Jaeger is getting upset, but this is just a fact to him and he's going to state it as such.]
You know I don't relate to people well - that my capacity for empathy is very low. I don't care if I lose people close to me; at best it's a temporary setback, an inconvenience. I have a few exceptions, but generally I only keep people close if they're useful to me in some way.
I don't feel things in ways that a good person would, assuming I feel them at all. If I do good things, it's because I'm forcing myself to act as I think a good person should; I have no natural capacity to be a good person simply because it's who I am.
no subject
...Albert, I...
[For a moment that's all he can manage. He knows there isn't going to be any changing Wesker's mind, and honestly he's not even sure if he can try to fight it any. It's just... really upsetting.]
You know I don't agree with that, right? I could never agree with that. You're different, yes, but that doesn't mean you're defective.
[His grip is still really tight on Wesker's hand; he doesn't want to let go.]
no subject
[Back in Magatus, during that fight they'd had in April; the context had been different, but Jaeger hadn't liked hearing him call himself defective then, either.]
no subject
[He tries to settle, to calm down at least a little bit, but it's not working.]
I've never thought that about you, and I never will. I love you so much, Albert, I...
[...don't know how to finish that, apparently. Jaeger's shaking a bit by the time he trails off. He knows he should have more to say, but he can't figure out how to put his thoughts into words.]
no subject
[He reaches out to run his fingers through Jaeger's hair, gently.]
There's no need to be upset, it's all right.
no subject
It's not all right, I wouldn't tolerate anyone else saying something like that about you. I just... You mean so much to me and I... I just...
[Words are failing him and it gets a soft frustrated noise from him.]
no subject
...Take your time. Breathe a bit and try again. I'm not going anywhere, we have time.
no subject
...I've never liked the idea that anyone is "defective". People are different. No one's going to react to things the same way, and while the majority of people might react in similar ways, people who don't follow that aren't wrong or broken for having a different reaction.
[Okay, that's good so far. That at least gives a little context to why he's so worked up.]
I'd be bothered if we were talking about anyone, not just you. But because it's you, it's... it's a lot worse. I love you so much, after all, and I've never looked at you that way. I've never considered that someone could look at you that way. So it's... troubling to hear that's how you consider yourself.
no subject
I'm not trying to say that I'm worth less than anyone else, or that nothing I do matters as much as what anyone else does. People...who are like me aren't inherently inferior, nor are they necessarily bad people.
At the same time, there is something wrong with us, even if it isn't our fault. That's just the way it is, objectively speaking. I wouldn't word it like this to them directly, admittedly, but it isn't... I'm not trying to say that I'm worth less than you or anyone else, in the end.
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)