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That's actually one of the benefits to being like this that I've seen - my body's ability to regenerate and heal itself has been greatly enhanced, if I even manage to be injured in the first place.

Apparently it's rather difficult to kill that which is already dead.

[And that's...dry, but not particularly troubled-seeming.]

The injury that killed me healed itself in a matter of minutes; I've also discovered that I can withstand gunshots with no actual significant injury or damage, short of some pain from the percussive impact.

[...He figured that last one out exactly as one would expect he did.]

... Why did you test that, Albert.

[ Wow ]

Because I suspected it would be fine. Even if it wasn't, the worst that would happen would be dying again, and somehow that doesn't seem as daunting the second time..

That's still bad?!

[ Oops she sort of snapped that out with naked surprise. ]

[...jesus um]

Well...yes, probably?

You can't just go shooting yourself just because it won't hurt as much! Or well - you shouldn't, probably?!

[ She can't make demands of him per se but ... I mean even if she caught herself it's kind of... um??? ]

Jaeger made me promise that I wouldn't do anything like that again without informing him first, but I'll certainly bear your objections in mind as well.

[It is arguable whether he is truly trying very hard, but at least he's offering that?]

--Show some common sense, Albert! Even if I end up with superior healing or what not because of being a vampire later I'm not about to slice my arm open!

[ She genuinely has no idea if she will or not, though. ]

And why wouldn't you...?

[This is a conversation we're having.]

It's irresponsible to not know what the limitations of your own body are - and again, even if you wouldn't, that's likely because becoming a vampire in your case doesn't kill you. I can't even touch any of you without being reminded that you're touching a corpse; it's repulsive, Elda, dying again and staying that way wouldn't be entirely unwelcome at this point.

[...

And that's...a lot of words he hasn't really said to anyone else, and it's obvious that he doesn't know what to do now that it's out there; in the end he just...goes quiet.]

[ If she had the place of mind to form it, she could say this was close to her same argument about testing and honing the memory erasing: that it was irresponsible to have to have something which could activate with touch without knowing it. Putting it into that context, Albert's actions are totally rational, or at least as rational as hers were then.

... But that's not the mood here. The mood's a lot more somber, a lot more...

It's just a lot, really. ]

... I don't want you to feel that way, Albert.

[ But at the same time, to say he shouldn't just flies in the face of his - frankly not invalid - feelings. She runs a hand on her arm and she nods. No, the transformation won't kill her unless she happens to be outside at the time. ]

When I reached for your hands, I didn't see it that way, you know. Touching a corpse.

[Right, that's...]

...I know you didn't.

[He does believe that much, at least.]

[ But she can't deny that's fair for him to see it that way, but. ]

I won't, I assure you.

...You're the only person I've told about a fair amount of the complications that might come from this, you know.

[Because he can actually be honest with Elda about this sort of thing; everyone else is either too casual an acquaintance, entirely too young to be considered on his level, or...Jaeger, whom he can't tell a lot of things for a lot of reasons.]

I still haven't had any sort of proper emotional response over this. I expected there to be something eventually, but it isn't happening for whatever reason, and I don't usually respond to things this stressful by not responding at all.

[He's kind of an anxious mess in some way when things are stressful, even if he's suppressing it; this isn't suppression, it's just...literally nothing.]

I told you once that beyond a certain point, I don't really remember feeling much outside of anger, hatred and instinct. So it... Well, saying it concerns me isn't entirely accurate, given everything, but you get the idea.

... Your suspicion is that the effects of this virus, or maybe just the effects of this new metabolism on your brain might have dulled your emotional responses.

[ Thats.. I mean, that makes sense, but that's also terrifying to her especially. ]

You can tell me anything, Albert. I'll hear it all out, and I appreciate that you feel you can.

Of course, Elda.

[...]

You're...correct, regarding my suspicions, however. I've noticed it already in several ways - not responding to familiar things in ways that I'm used to, for example. It's troubling me, somewhat, simply because I know the responses should be there but inexplicably aren't.

I mean, we both know that shock can do that to a person too. Shock and trauma.

[ But given his memories... no, that means it's just as if not more likely. She plays with her hands in her lap, frowning a little more. ]

Concerning, that's... yeah, it's concerning.

...Again, I'll come up with something, I'm certain. It's somewhat difficult given the current living situation, granted - I'm not sure how to even begin discussing this sort of thing with Jaeger.

I'm not sure you need to rush into it either. I know I was rushing earlier to God, Albert, if you only died a day or so ago, things can wait a spell, even important things. We can wait for you to acclimate.

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