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[manufactured]

NOAH ISAACS

Albert Wesker. Pharmaceutical Research and Development. This surely won't end poorly.

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Comments

[scythegun]

[You know what he was definitely not expecting? That. That is absolutely not what he was expecting and down he goes with an undignified noise. He'll try to kick at Wesker's legs while he's down here and once he's regained his footing he'll just sort of... rush Wesker like maybe he can full body tackle him to the floor. As you do.]

[manufactured]

[...Well, all right, then -

The kicking at him will definitely get him to back off, but he is not expecting the rushing and you are just going to tackle him to the floor like a fucking savage, aren't you.

...That would have been really awkward if it hadn't worked. As it stands it's still really awkward because we're on the floor and you're just kind of on him now? What the...fuck are we doing from here, other than him trying to shove you off because dude- ]

[scythegun]

Hah!

[VICTORY IS HIS— and off he goes oof.]

Well, that was fun. I'm never doing that again.

[His poor ribs...]

[manufactured]

[Thank you for getting off of him, it's appreciated and prevents him from having to ask you "well, what now."]

...It was surprisingly so, actually. Enough that I'm not sure I agree with the "never again" element of it.

[...He's competitive.]

[scythegun]

Mm, well maybe next time you won't punch me in the ribs first. I think I'm going to bruise!

[He's not made of paper anymore so he'll probably be fine.]

[manufactured]

It isn't as though you were going to move if I didn't.

[scythegun]

Well...! Yes, that's probably true, but it still wasn't appreciated!

[manufactured]

It accomplished what you came here to do, didn't it?

[It's nice to make your life difficult once in a while, you know.]

[scythegun]

It did, yes! I'm one step closer to getting bingo on this stupid card!

[S i g h. Why does he do these things to himself.]

I do appreciate it, anyway!

[manufactured]

Anytime you want to come over and have me punch you, I'll be more than willing, believe me.

[scythegun]

[That gets him to laugh, asshole.]

Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it! Who knows, maybe I'll take you up on that again someday!

[manufactured]

It's preferable to how we've ended up spending our time around each other lately, at any rate.

[Awkward...memory...discussions...]

[scythegun]

Ugh, don't remind me.

[His expression sours at that.]

The last thing I want is to discuss even more dreadful memories... but I suppose it's better to do it with you. I tried to discuss one with Elda and that was a mess.

[manufactured]

...What on earth were you trying to discuss with Elda?

[No, really, this is interesting.]

[scythegun]

It was for one of those bingo spaces. I told her I was a zombie. She told me she was a vampire. It was a lovely conversation.

[NO IT WASN'T, WHY IS HIS LIFE LIKE THIS]

[manufactured]

...I see.

[What the fuck, guys.]

At the very least, I don't believe I've had anything quite that odd.

[...]

Yet.

[...]

A few things have come close.

[scythegun]

Anything quite on par with killing an old man?

[Because that's the one he's always going to get stuck on no matter how weird things get.]

[manufactured]

...I actually believe I surpassed that, though I'm not entirely certain on the details.

[scythegun]

Well now you have to tell me! What happened?

[manufactured]

...To be blunt, I think I would prefer going back to punching one another.

[He's not drunk enough for this conversation, Jaeger.]

[scythegun]

I did bring you alcohol, if that helps any?

[please no he doesn't want to be punched again]

[manufactured]

I'm aware.

[...]

Perhaps at another time, Jaeger. Not now.

[scythegun]

Ah, very well.

[He knows better than to push Wesker and if it was that bad, maybe they'll be due for another meetup for drinks soon.]

Just know that I'm always here to listen if you need it~!

[manufactured]

...I prefer not to.

[Need it, he means. Ugh, this entire situation.]

I suppose I appreciate the offer, however.

[scythegun]

As you should! It's not something I'd offer most people, you know!

[Which is very true; he doesn't like hearing about other peoples' problems and that includes their weird memories. He can make an exception for Wesker, if only because then he gets to dump his weird memories on the man too.]