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[manufactured]

NOAH ISAACS

Albert Wesker. Pharmaceutical Research and Development. This surely won't end poorly.

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

Comments

[manufactured]

[Oh, that...]

It wasn't usually massive like that, at least.

[scythegun]

Oh? What did it usually look like?

[manufactured]

[Mm.]

It was usually larger than the average person, which is more or less normal - most mutated things that I recall are. But it wasn't by much. Perhaps eight feet tall at the most, and the result was generally human-shaped, albeit entirely formed out of those tentacle-like masses.

[scythegun]

[...That sounds super gross!]

I see. Why were things different with Excella?

[manufactured]

[...Well, um, if you think that's gross, you're probably not going to like what you're about to be told.]

I threw her out on a deck where I'd left about a hundred or so corpses for her to consume once she was overcome by the virus.

[scythegun]

[..........

he is trying so hard not to say "i see" again, but honestly what are you supposed to do with this]

Well, that's... certainly something, isn't it...

[manufactured]

That's one way of-

[He goes quiet abruptly, his body becoming rather still all of a sudden; his eyes are unfocused, staring blankly at the empty space a few inches in front of his face. It's likely something you're fairly familiar with, the general reaction (or lack thereof) of a person receiving a memory of some sort.

It takes him a moment to shake it off; give him a second, it won't take him too long.]

...Ah. Sorry about that, it... You know how it is.

[scythegun]

[Jaeger hesitates, waiting for Wesker to come out of it before he grips Wesker's hand tightly.]

Ja, I do. What did you remember?

[And perhaps more importantly, are you okay...?]

[manufactured]

...My vice-captain, from S.T.A.R.S. - his name was Enrico Marini. He was in the mansion with us that night.

I remembered shooting him. Fatally.

[scythegun]

...Ah.

[Well, so much for hoping that maybe Wesker didn't kill the others... it's still possible that he didn't kill them all, but this doesn't look good...]

Do you remember what happened leading up to that or was it just... something that happened?

[manufactured]

[He has to think about it for a moment.]

...I don't have much context for why it happened. I simply know that it did. It was in one of the underground laboratories; I think he was trying to tell Chris something. So I found a spot where I wouldn't be seen, and I shot him.

[scythegun]

Did you think it was necessary? Was it because of what he was going to tell Chris?

[manufactured]

[God, he doesn't like thinking about this, but he knows it's important; just...give him a moment.]

...It was necessary. I don't know if it was because of what he was saying, it was very disjointed. But it was...necessary, yes.

[scythegun]

[Jaeger nods at that. It still takes him a moment to find words, though.]

...Are you okay?

[manufactured]

[He's quiet for another long moment.]

I don't know. I believe so? It was jarring, of course, but...

[...He shifts a little.]

The memories that involve murdering humans are always difficult, I suppose.

[scythegun]

It sounds terrible. I know you'll be okay, but I'll be right here if you need me.

[It's still a little frustrating that there isn't anything else he can do to help, even though he knows how important this is to Wesker.]

[manufactured]

I know.

[...]

It's...different if the humans are mutated or dead in some way already. It's easier to process memories that are like that. I don't care for it when they still look like people.

[scythegun]

No, I understand. I haven't had any memories of killing monsters or people, but given what I know of the world, I must have fought monsters at least. It's... easier to think of anything non-human as a "monster", something that should be killed.

[He hesitates for a moment.]

I'm sorry you've remembered things like this. I imagine it doesn't get any easier.

[manufactured]

[Mm.]

It does and it doesn't. I had such a hard time the first time, over a year ago; I was terrified, honestly. It doesn't scare me anymore; it's...acceptance, I think, more than anything.

I don't care for it; I always have some difficulty immediately afterwards. But I'm not afraid of it anymore, and I'm not sure if that's a good or a bad thing.

[scythegun]

...I think that's natural, honestly. "Acceptance" is a good word for it. You've experienced it quite a few times in your memories, ja? It does seem like you'd eventually stop being afraid of it.

[manufactured]

Perhaps, but it still doesn't seem right to me.

[...It's another one of those good person/bad person things, from the sound of it.]

[scythegun]

I think I understand.

[He wants to tell Wesker that it's okay, but...]

I'm sorry. I know this is really difficult and even when things start going better this sort of thing is just going to... happen sometimes, I guess. But I'll be right here for you, I'm not going to leave your side.

[manufactured]

[Ah, no, it's...

He shifts a little, running his hand through Jaeger's hair gently.]

...I don't expect this sort of thing to fix itself overnight. No matter what I think of him, the person in my memories is objectively an evil person; I don't expect receiving his memories to magically become easier simply because I've decided to try to understand him.

[scythegun]

[He leans into the hair-playing easily, as usual. He doesn't really like thinking about it like that, but Wesker is right. The person he used to be was objectively an evil person. It's not something he's ever going to be able to agree to out loud, though.]

No, of course not. It's just... frustrating, I suppose. All of this. You've regained so many terrible memories and while not all of them have been awful, it feels like you've been forced to relive more suffering than the rest of us.

[Maybe it's not Retrospec's fault, but that's where his anger's directed at the moment.]

[manufactured]

Jaeger, it's...

[He hesitates before he continues, however. He knows what he wants to say - that it's really no one's fault but his own, or perhaps his past life's, and this is more or less what he had coming to him - but for now he stops, and he breathes, and he continues to play with Jaeger's hair while takes a moment to find words.]

It isn't fair, is it.

[That's a start.]

I won't say that I deserve to experience all of this. But I know I can get through it. If I had to inherit anything from my past life... If I really must have something in common with who I used to be, then I'll find it good that I seem to have gotten his tenacity.

It's frustrating, and it's overwhelming at times, and it isn't fair. But I'll be all right, I promise.