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[manufactured]

NOAH ISAACS

Albert Wesker. Pharmaceutical Research and Development. This surely won't end poorly.

VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION

Comments

[scythegun]

It was for one of those bingo spaces. I told her I was a zombie. She told me she was a vampire. It was a lovely conversation.

[NO IT WASN'T, WHY IS HIS LIFE LIKE THIS]

[manufactured]

...I see.

[What the fuck, guys.]

At the very least, I don't believe I've had anything quite that odd.

[...]

Yet.

[...]

A few things have come close.

[scythegun]

Anything quite on par with killing an old man?

[Because that's the one he's always going to get stuck on no matter how weird things get.]

[manufactured]

...I actually believe I surpassed that, though I'm not entirely certain on the details.

[scythegun]

Well now you have to tell me! What happened?

[manufactured]

...To be blunt, I think I would prefer going back to punching one another.

[He's not drunk enough for this conversation, Jaeger.]

[scythegun]

I did bring you alcohol, if that helps any?

[please no he doesn't want to be punched again]

[manufactured]

I'm aware.

[...]

Perhaps at another time, Jaeger. Not now.

[scythegun]

Ah, very well.

[He knows better than to push Wesker and if it was that bad, maybe they'll be due for another meetup for drinks soon.]

Just know that I'm always here to listen if you need it~!

[manufactured]

...I prefer not to.

[Need it, he means. Ugh, this entire situation.]

I suppose I appreciate the offer, however.

[scythegun]

As you should! It's not something I'd offer most people, you know!

[Which is very true; he doesn't like hearing about other peoples' problems and that includes their weird memories. He can make an exception for Wesker, if only because then he gets to dump his weird memories on the man too.]

[feistytrader]

What kind of reputable gossip would I be if I shared my sources?

[manufactured]

...That's the definition of reputable.

[feistytrader]

Good point.

Anyway, you in?

[manufactured]

"In"...?

[feistytrader]

Are you going to help doodle stuff on Elda's house with spray paint?

[manufactured]

...Absolutely not, but I want to witness this in progress.

[feistytrader]

I guess this is the most fun I can ask of you.

I'll keep you posted, then.

[manufactured]

Do that, then.

[manufactured]

[He'll come to the door eventually, Shuji, don't worry - the dogs are kind of going batshit in a back room somewhere, like they tend to do whenever anyone comes over, but it's not like they're going to maul you or anything, they've been put up and they're well out of sight. Probably for the best, because they're fucking huge dogs.]

Well. Good to see that you're here.

[...How do you greet someone who is here for the explicit purpose of being punched in the face.]

[thesettingsun]

[It's not like Shuji does this all the time, he wouldn't know.]

Thank you for having me. ...Your pets seem pretty excited.

[They're loud as hell, at least.]

7/15

[feistytrader]

So what do I need to bribe you with to get you to chocobo race with me?

[That's texted to Wesker with absolutely no context today.]

[manufactured]

Well, will you look at that. I already regret informing you that I answer texts.

[feistytrader]

Come on, it's for bingo. Don't you need to chocobo race? A lot of people do.

[manufactured]

[...Wh. Why do you people keep contacting him for these things?]

Do I look like the sort of person that would even begin to know how to do such a thing?