Albert Wesker (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
manufactured) wrote2017-04-30 12:43 am
manufactured) wrote2017-04-30 12:43 am
INBOX | RECOLLE
NOAH ISAACS
Albert Wesker. Pharmaceutical Research and Development. This surely won't end poorly.
VOICE | TEXT | VIDEO | ACTION
[The eyes are still creepy and he's honestly glad that orange glow isn't fixed on him, but he's not really focusing on that right now.]
Yes, plenty of people have difficult lives. But there's a difference between "difficult" and what you went through in your past life. I'm sure you could ask everyone involved with Retrospec and not a single person would have had an experience as terrible as yours. That doesn't excuse your actions, it was just a horrible thing to go through.
Yes, plenty of people have difficult lives. But there's a difference between "difficult" and what you went through in your past life. I'm sure you could ask everyone involved with Retrospec and not a single person would have had an experience as terrible as yours. That doesn't excuse your actions, it was just a horrible thing to go through.
Those decisions were still mine.
[It's evident that this is stressing him out, but he can't even really articulate why - it's obvious that he doesn't know what he should be doing or saying to this, and his gaze continues to shift awkwardly, like he's having difficulty focusing.]
I still chose to kill all those people. To try to kill everyone. I don't...
[He pauses for a moment. Shakes his head.]
I was broken, perhaps, but it feels more like I was just defective.
[It's evident that this is stressing him out, but he can't even really articulate why - it's obvious that he doesn't know what he should be doing or saying to this, and his gaze continues to shift awkwardly, like he's having difficulty focusing.]
I still chose to kill all those people. To try to kill everyone. I don't...
[He pauses for a moment. Shakes his head.]
I was broken, perhaps, but it feels more like I was just defective.
[Jaeger wants to move closer, to pull Wesker into his arms or at least establish more contact, but he honestly doesn't think it'd be appreciated right now. That's the sort of thing that comforts him, not Wesker.
He refrains, but his grip on Wesker's hand is very tight.]
Obviously I can't say with any certainty whether you were defective or not, but I really don't think you were. You had been so hurt by everything that happened to you... I don't think anyone could have gone through something like that and turned out even halfway okay.
Yes, those decisions were yours. But they were at least partially born from your circumstances in that life. You haven't acted on anything like that here. You don't hate people. You're kinder and calmer in this life. How do we know for certain that you couldn't have turned out at least somewhat similar in your past life, if things had been different?
He refrains, but his grip on Wesker's hand is very tight.]
Obviously I can't say with any certainty whether you were defective or not, but I really don't think you were. You had been so hurt by everything that happened to you... I don't think anyone could have gone through something like that and turned out even halfway okay.
Yes, those decisions were yours. But they were at least partially born from your circumstances in that life. You haven't acted on anything like that here. You don't hate people. You're kinder and calmer in this life. How do we know for certain that you couldn't have turned out at least somewhat similar in your past life, if things had been different?
[He's quiet for a long moment; his eyes slide closed again.]
...I can't do this right now. I... Don't. Please.
...I can't do this right now. I... Don't. Please.
You don't have anything to apologize for.
[He moves to pull his hand away; goes to get up, if he's allowed.]
...I'll come back, I just need a moment.
[He moves to pull his hand away; goes to get up, if he's allowed.]
...I'll come back, I just need a moment.
[Wesker is gone for a while once he disappears upstairs; it takes him longer than he'd like to settle himself, to calm down, to stop the strange aching in his chest. He's breathing hard, and it has nothing to do with exertion; everything about this hurts, for a reason he can't even begin to explain, and for a long while he just stays in the bedroom and lets it pulse through him until it subsides, until it passes and what he's left with is the usual cold oblivion.
For the first time, he finds it preferable to feeling anything.
He'll eventually manage to get himself reasonably sorted out, however, and he makes sure he's presentable when he makes his way back downstairs; presumably Jaeger is still in the study?]
For the first time, he finds it preferable to feeling anything.
He'll eventually manage to get himself reasonably sorted out, however, and he makes sure he's presentable when he makes his way back downstairs; presumably Jaeger is still in the study?]
[Yes, of course he is. He's messing around on his phone, but he doesn't seem particularly invested in it and when Wesker enters he'll put the phone away.
...He's not really sure what to say, though. It takes him a moment to find something.]
Are you okay?
...He's not really sure what to say, though. It takes him a moment to find something.]
Are you okay?
Yes, of course.
[He'll move to sit down next to Jaeger again.]
It was just a bit much, that's all.
[He'll move to sit down next to Jaeger again.]
It was just a bit much, that's all.
...I understand what you were trying to say.
[He'll let Jaeger take his hand, all right.]
[He'll let Jaeger take his hand, all right.]
Edited 2018-07-02 08:33 (UTC)
It isn't, but I'm not upset with you.
[He's seeming a little distant, perhaps, but he's still working himself out.]
[He's seeming a little distant, perhaps, but he's still working himself out.]
...I have a hard time processing it sometimes. What happened to me in my past life, and the effect that it had.
[It...hurts, considering it. He just tries not to show it in front of you, normally.]
[It...hurts, considering it. He just tries not to show it in front of you, normally.]
I want to be able to help you, and if it'll help to talk about it... then I'd like to listen.
[Wesker usually has a really good sense of these things, though. As much as he wants to help, he's aware that sometimes he's just not capable of it. It's frustrating that he can't keep his emotions in check for long enough to assist Wesker.]
[Wesker usually has a really good sense of these things, though. As much as he wants to help, he's aware that sometimes he's just not capable of it. It's frustrating that he can't keep his emotions in check for long enough to assist Wesker.]
[He hesitates then, because this time it isn't about protecting Jaeger so much as it is not being sure how ready he is to talk about these things himself.
His grip on Jaeger's hand tightens a little.]
There are a lot of things that happened there. I admit that I'm not sure where to start.
His grip on Jaeger's hand tightens a little.]
There are a lot of things that happened there. I admit that I'm not sure where to start.
...I don't remember anything at all before the Umbrella Corporation.
[That's...it's something, anyway.]
I assume, at one point, that I had a family and a life outside of it. From what the old man said, I was...collected. I don't know if that means I was given up willingly or if I was taken. Neither option would surprise me at this point.
Either way, you remember that dream back in October, I imagine. I wasn't designed to have free will.
[That's...it's something, anyway.]
I assume, at one point, that I had a family and a life outside of it. From what the old man said, I was...collected. I don't know if that means I was given up willingly or if I was taken. Neither option would surprise me at this point.
Either way, you remember that dream back in October, I imagine. I wasn't designed to have free will.
I think that was the point where I...broke, honestly.
[It's uncomfortable to discuss it, but...]
I was already hurt and angry. I hated the corporation, I destroyed it when I had the chance and didn't look back. But that was when I decided that I would become a god over humanity, to try to...save them, i suppose. Because what I was doing was never about cruelty, Uroboros was designed to kill quickly and without bias, it was never about making humanity suffer even though they deserved it.
[His words are tight, pressured, and they're picking up pace in a way that they usually don't.]
I wanted to create a world I could control. No pain, no abuse, no suffering. Something of my own design, with only people that I could understand. No more humans. Just monsters, like me.
[It's uncomfortable to discuss it, but...]
I was already hurt and angry. I hated the corporation, I destroyed it when I had the chance and didn't look back. But that was when I decided that I would become a god over humanity, to try to...save them, i suppose. Because what I was doing was never about cruelty, Uroboros was designed to kill quickly and without bias, it was never about making humanity suffer even though they deserved it.
[His words are tight, pressured, and they're picking up pace in a way that they usually don't.]
I wanted to create a world I could control. No pain, no abuse, no suffering. Something of my own design, with only people that I could understand. No more humans. Just monsters, like me.
Albert...
[It's a bit strange to hear him admit it, and it's a difficult thing to discuss even for him. He can only imagine how painful it is for Wesker.
After a moment, Jaeger brings his free hand up to hold Wesker's hand in both of his own. He wants to establish more contact than that, but he's not sure how appreciated it would be right now. This will have to do for the time being.]
I think I can understand, at least a little bit. You had been beaten down again and again, and every time something good happened to you, something worse would follow. You destroyed Umbrella, but that old man... I think I can see why you broke after hearing something like that.
[It's terrifying to think that you were created in someone else's image, more or less trained to act and react a certain way.]
I'm so sorry. What you did wasn't right, but given everything you went through... I think I can see where the desire came from.
[It's a bit strange to hear him admit it, and it's a difficult thing to discuss even for him. He can only imagine how painful it is for Wesker.
After a moment, Jaeger brings his free hand up to hold Wesker's hand in both of his own. He wants to establish more contact than that, but he's not sure how appreciated it would be right now. This will have to do for the time being.]
I think I can understand, at least a little bit. You had been beaten down again and again, and every time something good happened to you, something worse would follow. You destroyed Umbrella, but that old man... I think I can see why you broke after hearing something like that.
[It's terrifying to think that you were created in someone else's image, more or less trained to act and react a certain way.]
I'm so sorry. What you did wasn't right, but given everything you went through... I think I can see where the desire came from.
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