I've been sorting through a few things lately; it's a bit taxing, however, so I'm fine with stopping for the time being.
[He'll get up easily to join Jaeger on the couch, though he brings the sunglasses with him - not putting them on, just having them with him in the event that one or both of them start feeling weirded out.]
That's convenient, there's something I want to talk to you about.
[He'll move to sit close to Wesker, as usual. Okay. He can do this.]
...Do you remember Alexei? The commandant of the Imperial Knights, the man I was working for? I didn't remember why I was working for him, just that I didn't like him and he was keeping me in line somehow.
[His gaze drops and he moves like he's going to start playing with his sleeves, but he stops himself before he can start. Jaeger takes a deep breath and looks back up.]
He was keeping me in line by threatening my daughters and the orphanage I adopted them from. It... Well, it certainly explains a lot about why I didn't like him.
[He isn't entirely sure how to respond to that and it's obvious; he...has an idea of what could have caused Jaeger to remember something like that, and he doesn't like it, but he'll push that aside for now.]
I'm sorry that you had to remember something like that. It does explain a good amount, however.
[Yeah, it's exactly what you think it is, but he's not going to think about that either.]
I've had some time to think about it, to sort through my thoughts on it.
It is terrible, but it's the first thing like this I've remembered, so I don't know if anything ever came of it. It's possible it was just a threat that was never acted on. I think I'd be having more difficulty with it if the emotions that came with it were stronger, but I didn't... exactly feel much back then.
...I know you've mentioned that to me before, and that's why I'm asking. It tends to be a little strange when you remember being emotionally detached from everything and then stumble across something that managed to make them feel something, even if it wasn't much.
I'm here if you want to discuss it, or anything else you remember. You know that.
Yes, I know. I really do appreciate it. It's been awhile since I remembered anything that's actually bothered me.
But I really am okay. It was a bit jarring to remember something like that, but I'm fine now. I'll let you know if I remember anything else about it.
[That does get him to relax now that it's out there. That actually wasn't all that bad? He still feels a little weird about it, but he didn't lie to Wesker, he really is fine.]
I know I haven't always been able to promise that in the past; I've had a fair amount of my own problems to work through. But I believe I'm more capable of helping you now, should you need it.
You've always been very good at helping me, you know. But I'm really happy to hear that! You do seem to be doing better lately; I'm really pleased to see it.
It's good that it was something that helped you, and I really did feel it was important to tell you how I feel about all of that. Still, you know I don't like upsetting you...
I know you don't particularly like this topic, coming from me. But I've been curious about it since that discussion - do you think people can be inherently evil, or do you believe it all to be a matter of circumstance?
[Mm, you're right, he doesn't like the topic, but give him a moment to consider it.]
...No, I don't believe people can be inherently evil. There are certainly people out there who do terrible things, even without any sort of reason, but even then I can't say they're inherently evil.
Perhaps it's just because I do want to believe that everyone is capable of being at least a decent person, but I don't like the idea that anyone is always going to be evil.
It's admittedly a bit of a tricky topic, and I'll admit my views come from wanting to believe that there's at least a chance for good in everyone.
It's always been something I've believed in, really - a predisposition toward one or the other, at least, if not an inherent trait. I've never found it easy to have faith in people like what you're describing.
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[He'll get up easily to join Jaeger on the couch, though he brings the sunglasses with him - not putting them on, just having them with him in the event that one or both of them start feeling weirded out.]
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[He'll move to sit close to Wesker, as usual. Okay. He can do this.]
...Do you remember Alexei? The commandant of the Imperial Knights, the man I was working for? I didn't remember why I was working for him, just that I didn't like him and he was keeping me in line somehow.
[His gaze drops and he moves like he's going to start playing with his sleeves, but he stops himself before he can start. Jaeger takes a deep breath and looks back up.]
He was keeping me in line by threatening my daughters and the orphanage I adopted them from. It... Well, it certainly explains a lot about why I didn't like him.
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[He isn't entirely sure how to respond to that and it's obvious; he...has an idea of what could have caused Jaeger to remember something like that, and he doesn't like it, but he'll push that aside for now.]
I'm sorry that you had to remember something like that. It does explain a good amount, however.
Are you all right?
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I've had some time to think about it, to sort through my thoughts on it.
It is terrible, but it's the first thing like this I've remembered, so I don't know if anything ever came of it. It's possible it was just a threat that was never acted on. I think I'd be having more difficulty with it if the emotions that came with it were stronger, but I didn't... exactly feel much back then.
[He considers for a moment, then nods.]
Yes, I'm okay.
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I'm here if you want to discuss it, or anything else you remember. You know that.
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But I really am okay. It was a bit jarring to remember something like that, but I'm fine now. I'll let you know if I remember anything else about it.
[That does get him to relax now that it's out there. That actually wasn't all that bad? He still feels a little weird about it, but he didn't lie to Wesker, he really is fine.]
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[...]
You have my apologies, incidentally. For making you remember something like that.
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[He'll reach out for Wesker's hand at that.]
I was going to remember it at some point, ja? Better to remember it now, while I'm in a place where I can handle it.
...Not that I expect things to get worse, but... well, you know what I'm getting at.
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It's all right, I'm not blaming myself - I know it couldn't have been helped. It's still unfortunate.
[...He's having a decent self-esteem and self-awareness day today, it seems.]
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It is, yes, but I'm okay. The last thing I want is for you to worry about that.
[He squeezes Wesker's hand.]
And if I'm not okay, I promise I'll come to you.
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[...]
I know I haven't always been able to promise that in the past; I've had a fair amount of my own problems to work through. But I believe I'm more capable of helping you now, should you need it.
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You've always been very good at helping me, you know. But I'm really happy to hear that! You do seem to be doing better lately; I'm really pleased to see it.
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[ c: ]
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[...]
Might I ask you something?
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...No, I don't believe people can be inherently evil. There are certainly people out there who do terrible things, even without any sort of reason, but even then I can't say they're inherently evil.
Perhaps it's just because I do want to believe that everyone is capable of being at least a decent person, but I don't like the idea that anyone is always going to be evil.
It's admittedly a bit of a tricky topic, and I'll admit my views come from wanting to believe that there's at least a chance for good in everyone.
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[He doesn't, but he's trying.]
It's always been something I've believed in, really - a predisposition toward one or the other, at least, if not an inherent trait. I've never found it easy to have faith in people like what you're describing.
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But I do want to believe that everyone could be good at some point, even if their circumstances are so terrible that they no longer believe that.
[It doesn't really cover people who are awful just because, but he's trying.]
Why do you believe people are predisposed to be one or the other? Do you think a person who is "evil" can ever be good?
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[So no, not really.]
It's just how I've always known things to be; I've never particularly questioned it. It's always seemed to be the order of things.
For what it's worth, I do believe there to be fewer truly evil people than there are truly good.
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