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[For a long moment, Jaeger doesn't know what to say to that. He tenses at the word "defective" and doesn't relax even once Wesker's done explaining. His grip on Wesker's hand has gone very tight as well.]

...You really believe that? You really believe you're "defective"? Why?

...Yes, of course.

[And this is probably a good example of why, really - he can tell, cognitively, that Jaeger is getting upset, but this is just a fact to him and he's going to state it as such.]

You know I don't relate to people well - that my capacity for empathy is very low. I don't care if I lose people close to me; at best it's a temporary setback, an inconvenience. I have a few exceptions, but generally I only keep people close if they're useful to me in some way.

I don't feel things in ways that a good person would, assuming I feel them at all. If I do good things, it's because I'm forcing myself to act as I think a good person should; I have no natural capacity to be a good person simply because it's who I am.

[His gaze flickers away at some point during that and even though he tries to correct it, he can't manage it. He knows Wesker wouldn't lie to him about something like this, but is this really what Wesker thinks of himself...?]

...Albert, I...

[For a moment that's all he can manage. He knows there isn't going to be any changing Wesker's mind, and honestly he's not even sure if he can try to fight it any. It's just... really upsetting.]

You know I don't agree with that, right? I could never agree with that. You're different, yes, but that doesn't mean you're defective.

[His grip is still really tight on Wesker's hand; he doesn't want to let go.]

I don't expect you to agree with it; I've expressed this to you once before, briefly, and you didn't like it then.

[Back in Magatus, during that fight they'd had in April; the context had been different, but Jaeger hadn't liked hearing him call himself defective then, either.]

Of course I didn't.

[He tries to settle, to calm down at least a little bit, but it's not working.]

I've never thought that about you, and I never will. I love you so much, Albert, I...

[...don't know how to finish that, apparently. Jaeger's shaking a bit by the time he trails off. He knows he should have more to say, but he can't figure out how to put his thoughts into words.]

Jaeger...

[He reaches out to run his fingers through Jaeger's hair, gently.]

There's no need to be upset, it's all right.

[He'll allow it, of course, the hair-playing usually gets him to calm down pretty quickly but he's still tense and not really reacting to it very well. It takes him a moment to lean into it, and even that is more of a mechanical response than it usually is.]

It's not all right, I wouldn't tolerate anyone else saying something like that about you. I just... You mean so much to me and I... I just...

[Words are failing him and it gets a soft frustrated noise from him.]

[He'll continue with it, though he seems a bit at a loss and it's obvious.]

...Take your time. Breathe a bit and try again. I'm not going anywhere, we have time.

[He nods a bit at that, taking a moment just to close his eyes and breathe. It takes him longer than he'd like to calm down even a little bit; the tension doesn't leave him entirely, but he does seem a bit more centered when he opens his eyes again.]

...I've never liked the idea that anyone is "defective". People are different. No one's going to react to things the same way, and while the majority of people might react in similar ways, people who don't follow that aren't wrong or broken for having a different reaction.

[Okay, that's good so far. That at least gives a little context to why he's so worked up.]

I'd be bothered if we were talking about anyone, not just you. But because it's you, it's... it's a lot worse. I love you so much, after all, and I've never looked at you that way. I've never considered that someone could look at you that way. So it's... troubling to hear that's how you consider yourself.

[It takes him a while to sort out how he wants to respond to that, to sort through his thoughts a bit.]

I'm not trying to say that I'm worth less than anyone else, or that nothing I do matters as much as what anyone else does. People...who are like me aren't inherently inferior, nor are they necessarily bad people.

At the same time, there is something wrong with us, even if it isn't our fault. That's just the way it is, objectively speaking. I wouldn't word it like this to them directly, admittedly, but it isn't... I'm not trying to say that I'm worth less than you or anyone else, in the end.

I'm glad to hear that's not how you're considering it. I can see where it would be, and that...

[That's agitating him, but that's not how Wesker's thinking of it. He takes a moment to breathe again before letting it go.]

...I still don't like the thought, I suppose. It just... really bothers me.

...I didn't intend to upset you. I knew you wouldn't like hearing it, but I dislike making you upset like this.

[That gets some of the tension to leave him and his gaze darts for a moment before he corrects it.]

I know you're not trying to upset me. And I'm... I'm not upset at you, I'm more upset with the situation. I'm upset that you can't see yourself the way I do. You're different, yes, and you don't always process things the same way most people do, but I can never see that as "defective". You're a wonderful person, and I'm convinced you're a good person.

[He knows Wesker will never agree with that, but he needs to say it.]

[His gaze shifts a bit at that; eye contact isn't going to happen.]

...It's always meant a lot to me, you know. That you believe that, even if I can't agree with it.

Of course I do.

[His grip on Wesker's hand is still tight, and his other hand comes up to rest on Wesker's other arm.]

I've watched you struggle with all the things your past life has done, I've seen you work your way through some of the most difficult memories of everyone on Retrospec. You want to do better, you want to be a good person.

I know you say you don't have a choice but to keep moving forward, but honestly, I think a lot of people would have stopped trying by now.

I'm not going to stop believing in you. You can always count on that.

[He doesn't know what to say to that.

He doesn't know what to say to that and it's obvious, and his hand has gone still against Jaeger's hair, and even after Jaeger is done talking to him he remains quiet for a rather long time.

He doesn't seem upset, or even particularly overstimulated; just like he's trying to process what's being said to him, and it's taking a while but he's not dismissing it outright, and he isn't sure how it's sitting with him but it's...

Well, he's working on it. Give him a moment.]

I'm not going to give up, you know. Regardless of what happens. And I know you'll be with me for as long as you're able to be.

You mean so much to me; I want you to know that. Don't ever doubt how much you do for me.

[He doesn't break the silence for once; he certainly doesn't want to try to rush Wesker any. This is a lot to deal with, after all. He's not moving though, but at least he isn't tensing up again.

When Wesker finally does find words they get Jaeger to smile.]

I know. If I can, I want to be by your side forever.

I'm really happy I'm able to help you. You mean so much to me as well... I love you so much, Albert.

I love you too.

[...]

I don't believe I'm capable of being a good person. Not in the way that others are. So I still don't know what I want for myself just yet, overall. I suppose I've never really known for sure.

Kei speaks to me often about how our actions can serve as redemption for our past lives - that because our souls are the same, our choices now can lead to salvation of who we were then. I don't know how I feel about that, or if I deserve such a thing in the first place. But it's something I think about from time to time.

It's an interesting thought, ja? I don't really know how to feel about that either, but I think I can see where that would be comforting, in some way.

I'll be right here for you, no matter what. I'm sure you'll figure out what it is you want for yourself in time.

...Part of what I've been working on has been sorting through exactly what happened in my past life. I understand why a fair amount of it happened, and I think I understand what I was trying to do at various points, but my actual grasp on the events themselves is tenuous at best. I think it's...important to know that, so I can try to figure out what route I should take now.

Yes, that makes sense to me. If you ever need to discuss it, I'll be here.

[That's really the most he can offer, isn't it...?]

I think it's good that you've reached a point where you can sort all this out. I know it weighs heavily on you, and I'm sure this won't be easy.

...It's actually been something of a relief so far, given that I'm...not certain I'm responsible for as much as I initially believed.

I can explain in more detail once I'm done working through a bit more of it, but I don't think the number I was given was strictly accurate, and the number of lives I'm directly accountable for is much lower.

Ah, really?

[That's a relief to hear, honestly, for a good number of reasons.]

Let me know when you've worked through it, I really am curious to hear about it.

Of course.

[...]

It's likely always going to weigh heavily on me, regardless of what I find out. The number of people that died as a result of my actions is still going to be extremely high. I don't feel I deserve to forget that, and while I believe that understanding my past life is important, I don't ever want to sympathize.

But I'm trying to find ways to make some sort of peace with it. I may not deserve that, either, but I can't keep living the way I have been with regards to it.

No, I understand. I think it's fair to want to find some sort of peace with it, all of us do. It's good that you're able to work through it some. I'm really happy you're doing better, Albert.

[His grip tightens on Wesker's hand at that. It's immensely difficult, he's sure of that, but it's really nice to see Wesker sorting himself out a bit.]

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