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To start with, I do understand - completely and utterly, really. My own memories aren't the same as yours, but I've committed various atrocities myself that are incredibly difficult to reconcile with my life now, and even more difficult to dismiss.

If you had to decide for yourself, in terms of fair judgement - what would you consider proper atonement for what happened? Do you believe such a thing is possible in this life, or is it more a matter of directionless guilt without any potential resolution?

[In terms of fair judgement...]

I'd like it if he'd managed it himself, of course, but he didn't live long enough to do so, and I'd hardly count sacrificing himself proper atonement considering he had no other choice; it was that or return with them and go to jail for various charges even outside of murder, life ruined with little hope of reconciliation...

I don't know. It feels more like the latter, since even if there was a proper atonement for what happened I don't really want to deal with it, but I will. I don't know if I deserve to have the chance at redemption for his life either, or if others expect it of me, but I can't just pretend that it has nothing to do with me. It's not right.

So more of the latter, yes.

Others will likely try to argue that those actions weren't carried out by you - that they aren't yours to atone for in the first place. They mean well when they say things like that.

It never does help. But they mean well.

My first memory after I was brought onto the network involved murdering someone. An old man in a wheelchair; he had several IVs in place, among other things. There was no way he could have possibly fought back against me; I grabbed him and I killed him. Severe trauma to the chest. I found out later that he deserved it, but that doesn't change the knowledge that I murdered someone; I could have left him to his death of natural causes, which wasn't long off from the look of it, but I chose to kill him instead.

Things actually escalated from there, in terms of the severity of my actions. I believe I died eventually, but it's likely I died unrepentant, trying to bring at least two other people down with me.

I don't believe it's fair for me to have to answer for what I did in that past life, because my circumstances were so different then. But the fact remains that people died because of me, and other lives were ruined because of me, and it doesn't seem right to disregard all of that simply because I don't think it's fair that I need to answer for my own actions.

It's never as simple as "But it wasn't you who did those things," not when the actions in question were so severe.

[Elizabeth doesn't think it matters. There's so many others think it doesn't matter, past lives and this life, but those people don't know of the whole murder thing. Goro knows Wesker's right. Reading over the other's own memories and thoughts about it, he's certainly right about it, and he doesn't reply for a while. Working out what he should do with that in mind.

Eventually, though. Eventually.]

Thank you.

I don't think the people in question have realized my actions just yet -- they all talk so nicely to me, they say that things in that life don't matter in this -- but I do intend to tell them. As hard as it is. They can make their own decisions after they've heard me out, though I... don't think I'll accept their niceties about what matters and what matters not.

Because you're right. They mean well, but it doesn't help. It only feels worse.

Some of them will continue to offer things like that to you anyway. Make it plain that you don't agree, but if they matter deeply to you don't push the matter. They tend to be more concerned with your suffering than properly acknowledging what you've done; let them have their delusions about what you do and don't deserve. Again, they do mean well.

Telling people is difficult, but that's as it should be. Things like that shouldn't be easy; bluntly put, it would likely be more of a concern if it were.

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