It's likely always going to weigh heavily on me, regardless of what I find out. The number of people that died as a result of my actions is still going to be extremely high. I don't feel I deserve to forget that, and while I believe that understanding my past life is important, I don't ever want to sympathize.
But I'm trying to find ways to make some sort of peace with it. I may not deserve that, either, but I can't keep living the way I have been with regards to it.
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It's likely always going to weigh heavily on me, regardless of what I find out. The number of people that died as a result of my actions is still going to be extremely high. I don't feel I deserve to forget that, and while I believe that understanding my past life is important, I don't ever want to sympathize.
But I'm trying to find ways to make some sort of peace with it. I may not deserve that, either, but I can't keep living the way I have been with regards to it.