[He lets his grip tighten against Jaeger a little bit at that - nothing desperate, it's gentle, just enough to be felt.]

It's a lot to come to terms with. It's...merciful, really, that I don't remember much of what was done to me back then; what Spencer said about it, and about me, affected my past life far more than it affects me now. It was painful then, in ways that I wasn't used to and didn't know how to handle.

What I did is always going to be difficult for me to deal with, I think. But it's getting easier.